Tuesday, 15 July 2008
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Dating like a Man
by Tyra Lee (guest blogger)Everyone says that I have such a guy mentality when it comes to dating... I really don't think that I do at all. In fact, I think maybe a lot of women out there have the same take on relationships as I do. Feedback?
- There's
just no need for us to see each other every day. In the beginning, it's
cute.. but after those initial 3-5 days, it just makes me feel cramped.
Give me some time to miss you, dude! And don't automatically assume
that I'm free to do something with you on Saturdays ... after all,
that's my day for meeting new guys...
- There
is no need for us to always hold hands or kiss in public. I'm not
anti-PDA but I'm more into subtle displays of affection... like your
hand on my back. I am comfortable enough with my relationship to where
I don't feel it's necessary to display to the world how we feel about
each other like drunken prom night teenagers.
This post is rated C for strong language. Please do not read further if you are easily offended!
- I'm not much of a phone talker. I don't understand how couples can stay on the phone with other for hours talking about NOTHING... you know what I mean, the kind who eat breakfast together, watch movies together, take shits together... Our conversations need not be over half an hour long... MAX. Everything we possibly need to say to each other can be expressed within that time frame. If not, then hop your ass in your car and get over here so we can do it face to face. Or maybe just do it. After that 30 minute mark, I can guarantee you I'm either thinking about what's on E, or I'm struggling to pay attention.
- I
don't like to cuddle and hug after sex. I'm hot. I'm sweaty. I'm
fucking tired. We just spent over 25 minutes (God willing) sliding
against each other. LEAVE. ME. ALONE.
- When I see a hot guy, I don't think to myself, "Man I really wanna date him.. I want him to take me out to dinner and I want to sit by the fireplace sipping wine." ... I think to myself, "Holy shit! I wanna fuck him so badly! He's so hot I'd fuck him all night, and if he didn't call me the next morning I wouldn't even care!" Surely I'm not the only female who thinks that way???
I'm so intrigued by the chase and the mystery. I don't care how hot you are, or how much I want you... If you make yourself too available to me, I'll get bored very quickly and I will drop you faster than a flaming sack of dog crap. If you're always on my cl*t telling me how much you miss me and like me, you will most likely make me gag. I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE GIRLS WHO SAY THEY'RE LOOKING FOR A NICE GUY WHEN REALLY THEY WANT TO BE ABUSED-- I am just into men who keep me guessing. Don't be emotionally slutty.
- I will not be seen in public with you, nor will I bring you around my family/friends/anyone I know until I am confident that you're not a complete and total douchebag. Nothing embarasses me, but you, sir, just might give me a run for my money. Until I know you are not socially retarded, it will be dark corner restaurants and movie-night-at-home for us, friend.
- No, I don't want to meet your family/friends. It's too soon. You telling me you want me to meet your mom and sister is like you telling me you see us picking out fine china together. It just freaks me out. In fact, I don't even want to meet the best friend. Or any of your friends. Spare me from having to walk on pins and needles all night trying to live up to this expectation that everyone already has of me. Trust me, they will be oh-so-disappointed.
- I don't do the whole yelling/arguing/cussing/crying thing. My life is dramatic enough, I don't need a man to add more to it. I don't get jealous, so go hang out with your old girl buddy from hs. You won't find me tailing you guys at 2mph or sniffing your boxers when you get home. I simply don't have the energy. I need an equal partner, not a son. I don't want the password to your MySpace, and no you can't have mine.
I think I'm through. I think.
Man, I just read everything I wrote. NO WONDER WHY I'VE BEEN SINGLE FOR A YEAR.
- There's
just no need for us to see each other every day. In the beginning, it's
cute.. but after those initial 3-5 days, it just makes me feel cramped.
Give me some time to miss you, dude! And don't automatically assume
that I'm free to do something with you on Saturdays ... after all,
that's my day for meeting new guys...
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Comments (138)
Yeah, we date like guys.
Or maybe we just date like a new kind of woman? Either way, nothing's wrong with it if it makes you happy.
I know just how you feel. LOL :P I have that guy mentality also when it comes to dating.
If it makes you happy, more power to you. ^_^
Excellent post!!!
This is great! I see myself in a lot of these. Although after just getting out of a relationship where the guy didn't meet my family and I didn't meet his or any of his friends...it didn't turn out so well. I don't want to spend every free second with them, but I would prefer that they at least know I exsist. Maybe I'm still a little bitter
Awesome... so were to find a girl like you.... hahaha... Good Post, and a entertaining read.
I can respect that women like this are diametrically opposed to my own style, after all it's variety in people that make the world interesting.
But a woman like this is not for me.
And it's not to say that it is wrong. It's not wrong. It's not to say that gender roles and behaviors need to be clearly delineated. They don't have to be. It's just not my taste in women.
I love your confidence and how you are so outspoken.
I probably just haven't dated much. Correction. I haven't dated much... so I think I appreciate all the lovey-dovey stuff.
On the other hand, since I've been single for what many consider to be a laughable-ly long time... I do feel a little uncomfortable when someone suddenly wants to spend so much time with me.
Guess, it just takes meeting that ONE person that will make me see things differently.
More power to you, though :)
Amen, sistah. I also don't like to shop, and don't ask for directions. But I sure do like men
Lol. Some of these things I totally agree with it's kind of weird, like the phone thing and meeting the family. Usually, friends would tell me that I was just afraid of commitment. *shrug*
Haha this could have been me who wrote that, i feel and act the same way about the things you mentioned.
It seems though with me that after a bit guys start complaining that i'm not jealous enough cause i don't care they go out alone, or not affectionious enough for not cuddling them in public.
It's like the world turned upside down.
funny and entertaining
I agree with a lot of the things you said. I always get annoyed when guys get clingy or whiny after a few days. I always think "but I'm the girl.... "
Wow! I really thought that I was the only one or one of the very few girls that thought like this. One of them being Samantha from Sex and the City (The Blond Bimbo...) But thankfully I am not. There are others that think similarly. I am not into mushy stuff, and I am not doomed into being a cynical old hag either haha.
This was well written and I am definitely reccomending this!
<3
Ha, I agree with everything but the last - depends on their exact history and other circumstances.
This is a wonderful advertisement for a broken world.
Basically you could have summed it all up by saying that you're into casual dating and not at all into serious dating.
Man, I just read everything I wrote. NO WONDER WHY I'VE BEEN SINGLE FOR A YEAR.
Amen! You've got issues girl.
Well written, you enlightened me a little about myself. That wasn't a bad thing at all either. <3
i'm on board with that. if we must chat on the phone 30 min max and we don't need to chat daily. seriously we don't need to talk.
well, one thing is true, all girls do like to keep guessing. That's what keep their interest in the guy. So that's not really a "man" feature, though some men like the chase too.
One day, if you meet the right guy, you will know what it feels to be in love. When you talk on the phone, the conversation will carry itself and before you know it hours would have passed by. Maybe it is just me, but sometimes it is better to wake up with someone you really connect with instead of someone who is stunningly beautiful. Because when the night is over, it will be like your description of a long phone call - time wasted. Who cares, right? It was a great night. How long do you think his memory of you will last? No matter how great the night, the memory will be short lived. Yet, if you wake up with the person you love, a person who trusts you, you will always be able to share that memory. There are a lot of people in this world, (Duh, I know) and many times a seemingly perfect, beautiful guy/girl will appear in your life. I think that love is the ability to tell that perfect person, "Sorry, I'm taken."
Reading your post, I feel like society is slowly transitioning into a world described by books such as "Brave New World," or "Fahrenheit 451." I feel like a lot of people don't give love a chance, especially in today's world where the divorce rate (USA) is nearly 50%. But hey, whatever makes people happy.
My roommate in college dates like this.
I do not.
It's a mystery.
Well I definitely agree with a lot of those, I don't agree with all of them. I like to cuddle after sex. Even if we are sweaty. We're both sweaty anyway so why does it matter? And I like holding hands, not because I want to show other people "hey look, we're a couple." But just because I like that physical contact. I don't need to do it all the time, but sometimes is nice.