by
Mr. Macchiato
I have a friend I have lunch with now and then. I always enjoy breaking bread with him, but I can't stand how he talks down to the wait staff! He is incredibly condescending to them - when he orders, he refuses to look the waiter in the eye. If the kitchen is slow, he'll even make remarks about the service while the waiter is still in earshot! Ugh, the embarrassment...
He is always super nice to me though. I wasn't sure how to reconcile that, until one day I came across an article that put it bluntly: "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person."
The article had more: ""Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with. Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles." (
source)
Since then, I have always looked for how someone treats the wait staff - whether I'm on a date or at a business dinner. In my professional and personal life, I just can't trust someone who is nice to me but rude to the waiter. It is my #1 dating pet peeve.
I'm not the only one that thinks this - one survey by a dating service found 52% of people thought that being rude to waiters ranks as the #1 breach of dating etiquette! Number two was blowing your nose at the table (35%).
Does it bother you if a date is rude to the waiter or waitress? What's your #1 dating pet peeve?
Comments (56)
its funny because I just read a blog on having a Human Decency Card. I think that just because they serve you, doesn't mean they're under you.
I don't like people who don't have good manner or are impolite...if my date is either of that I would be so turned off that she would starts to look ugly to me. I like kind people.
It definitely would bother me and make me incredibly embarrassed. Another big pet peeve of mine which goes along well with rudeness and arrogance, cockiness, any of those macho-man stereotypes.
not just waitresses, but there are also other customer service workers.. i've worked in fast food and currently in a medical clinic. i understand that people that need to see a doctor is not in the best mood, but it really sucks to be treated like you're the cause for all their problems. either they don't trust you because you're not the doctor, or they expect that you should know EVERYTHING because you work there.
we're being paid to help people, and it's really upsetting that they try to make our lives so difficult.
TURN OFF!
I was a waitress for like 2 months. I have experienced people being incredibly rude to me. So for me to be a customer and watch my date being an ass to a person who is working a shit job for a living - that would make me dislike him. I would probably order something outrageously expensive out of spite.
Also, is it really that smart to disrespect someone who's handling your food?
xo
yeah.. def a big minus..
wait, people actually blow their noses at the table??