By Trigger 821 (guest blog)
How do
you get the attention of a girl who gets frequently asked out by a bundle of
other guys? How do you set yourself apart from the other guys?
I wonder how the
girl feels and what is she thinking of when she’s being asked out all the times.
Does she get uncomfortable? Annoyed? Excited? Flattered? Am I going over my
head for being interested in someone that is highly desirable? Probably out of
my league? Ok, I am just comforting myself when I said probably… she's
definitely not playing in the same ball park as me.
It’s like seeing the beauty of a rare flower
on the edge of a cliff from the other side of the canyon and there's no way
across but to jump over the 100 meters gap...and I got no wings. Nevertheless, I
want to try to make the jump as impossible as may seems, but the problem is while
I want to take things slowly and befriend her first, I worry if I don’t ask her
out soon some other guy (some? no…many guys) will and then I might ended up
losing any chance I might have.
Maybe I
can get creative with the way I ask her out and that will set me apart from
everyone else? How should I approach this??
Comments (80)
One definite way you can show how you're different is to show her how much you really are into her. Do things that you usually don't do with other people, make her feel special. Drop alot of hints, and most of all, be a nice guy to her.
You really should ask her soon because, like you said, if you don't, someone else will come by and swoop her off her feet. You don't have to necessarily befriend her first, but you should at least introduce yourself and start up a nice conversation first. If things seem really cool between you two, invite her out to dinner, take her to a movie or a picnic. Really show what you have to offer.
Need other help? Watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrnK-qPARYI
This guy really nails the head on what you need to do. That's where I got the advice from. Enjoy!
I'd say that you should just be yourself. Most of the guys are probably going out of their way to try to impress her and making fools out of themselves in the process. If you do that you are just going to be another fool seeking her attention. However, if you are polite and just be yourself and confidently ask her then you are probably best off.
Dude... going after a girl that a million other guys like will just lead to a huge headache... even after you end up getting the girl. If she is worth it, good luck.
You have officially made me subscribe to you. :]
I would say, be yourself. But then again, that's if you're interested in having a relationship with the girl. Coz if you try to be someone you're not, and she finds out in the ends, then it will be messy and it undesirable.
But then, if you just want this girl to say yes for just one date, that's very easy. I'd say sing for her. I mean, I'd definitely fall for that. :]
a sure fire way to set you apart from other guys is to be a complete gentleman. have manners, ask about her day and things about her and try to have stimulating conversation with her while looking into her eyes and at her face rather than at her chest. don't come off sleezy or creepy. have confidence (fake it until you make it) and then just grow some balls and make the leap. the worst thing that could happen is her saying, "No."
Ask her out. I mean, come on, the worst thing she's going to do is say no, right? And that's hardly 'end of the world' as it may seem.
I appreciate a man with balls to ask me out. I mean, i know how hard it is for you guys (not that it isnt hard for us, too, but it's a whole different ball game) to get the nerve to come talk to us, but we appreciate honest men who really are into us.
as a good guy. Ask her. You have NOTHING to lose. And everything
to gain/
Not that I'm much of a ladies' man, I am not at all, in fact, I'm the anti-ladies' man. But when I was younger I had 2 girls who were like that interested in me. I think what it was that got them interested was that I was so atypical. I did things the opposite of most guys -- I didn't get into sports, but read a lot, talked about intelligent things, and even dressed differently (the first one seemed to like that - it was back when alternative music/dress hadn't become mainstream, only wierdos dressed that way). I stuck out, not in a macho or even cool way (I'm neither, I'm a big geek), but I just wanted to be myself. For some reason that allowed me to bypass the other guys. That and having some real depth. I think the really hot girls miss that, as they get the jocky cocky guys all the time and get bored of it. But this doesn't work for all women, only if that woman is sick of the usual guy games, and the usual guy. And she might, having so many of those confident player types bringing cheese to her. That's, of course, if she's deep enough to not be into the surface stuff, and usually the girl who everybody likes has at least some depth.
But this is only my experience with those girls, and I knew that they had some depth before I approached them. You may have to do some research on what kind of girl she is. If the girl you like is as deep as a mud puddle, and it's her body that gets the guys, well, I'd forget it, unless you're rich and look as good as her.
I say that it really depends on the type of girl she is. If she's used to being approached, asked out early on, then go for it.
Personally as a girl, I don't like to be told that a guy likes me in less than a week or without barely talking to me. It makes me feel flattered, but a little uncomfortable. Another thing is that I'm not fully convinced that the guy even likes me because I feel like the guy barely knows me enough to like me. Get to know her if you can, and be yourself :)
Another thing.. I also agree with NDM in a way. LIking a girl who has a million guys after her can be a big headache, unless you know that she has a history of being completely loyal. Say you did get in a relationship with her, if it seems like one person always has the upper hand in the relationship, that might not be a good thing. If she gets too much attention from other guys, she may not pay full attention to you or fully allow herself to open up/fall for you if she has other options in the back of her mind.
My friend and I have this idea that.. ideally, you want to meet someone who you can say.. "She's my equal. I don't love her less than she loves me."
Good luck though!! :)
As cliched as it is, man up. You need confidence.
You know what sucks? When you've finally got that girl, but all of those others still pine for her. And you feel inferior to all of them.
Not that I'm complaining. She's beautiful. And perfect. But so are they. And I'm afraid of the dark.
This is why I only go for girls who have boyfriends. With a single girl, I have to prove that I'm better than all the guys out there. But, with a girl with a boyfriend, I only have to prove that I'm better than one guy. Those are better odds.
Oh, and to be that asshole who double-posts, here's my advice on getting that girl who everyone wants:
Let her read this. You have a very nice voice that comes across, sometimes almost as poetry, when you write here. And you're very conscious of the reality of situations you're presented with.
If she doesn't appreciate that, well then, fuck her, right?
Watch the movie Hitched :P hahaha.
@InsomniaIsSexy@xanga - That's very true, if she doesn't appreciate you, she's probably not worth your time.
If I were the girl, I'd want a guy who isn't worried about trying to get me out on a date, but who is interested in being a friend. Yes, you'll have to be careful that you don't go overboard and get into the "friend only" zone, but as bad as it sounds, most of the time we want what we can't have. So if she sees that you're not worried about dating her, she might see that you are different, and want to find out why.
Be an Alpha. Make her come to you.
Be a friend first. That way, if you didn't know her well before, you would now. Perhaps she wouldnt be as perfect as you had thought, saving a lot of pain later on. And every girl is more able to ease from the role of friend to lover than from acquaintance to lover. :D
You are putting a lot of value in how hot she is. Don't get me wrong initial/physical attraction is important. But just treat her as a normal person. Guys get choked up when they are around girls like that, just relax. Have something funny or insightful to mention to get her attention and if she is interested she will respond back.
But aside from that yah, pretty much just go for it. Its a hit or miss. If its a miss, don't take it personally and keep trying until someone gives you a shot.
Like others have said, be confident. Make her want you.
Approaching her on your knees relegates you to the floor.
But I know it's hard.
@sceadena@xanga - How would you go about doing that?