by
Mr. Macchiato
You know how when new couples get together, they're in that "honeymoon"
period? Where everything is perfect and the two lovebirds have never
been happier, blah blah blah.
I was trying to describe it, and came across
this description on AskMen.com:
When
you saw her for the first time, your stomach did a somersault, your
heart took a trampoline leap into your throat and your knees began to
wobble like a Slinky down a staircase. She was, without a doubt, the
most attractive woman you had ever seen.
There was a certain je
ne sais quoi about her that was impossible to ignore. And so came the
chase and the game of cat and mouse that men and women love to play.
What is more fun than the thrill of the hunt? You both know that you
want each other yet you pretend otherwise. Together, you revel in that
beautiful and almost painful tension before you submit to temptation in
a heap of emotion and passion. This is, without question, the best part
of a new relationship.
Ha well I don't know if it's the absolutely best part of a new relationship, but it does tee up something I've been wondering.
How long do you think the honeymoon period lasts? And what do you do when it's over?
Comments (43)
I think it depends on the person you are with and the kind of chemistry you have...sometimes it lasts for the entire relationship, other times just a few weeks...but that doesnt mean the relationship is no longer fun, sometimes you need a little tension to make things interesting...sometimes the honeymoon period can get a little dull
Oh my, for me mine lasted about 2 months and then after that I thought he just didn't like me anymore until I finally realized that we just got comfortable with one another, much like a married couple does after being together for such a long time.
Now I just enjoy the fact that we are together, happy, and loving every minute without shoving it in peoples faces all of the time.
I don't believe in the honeymoon period. I think that if the honeymoon period is over it's time to move on to the next relationship. I think every day should feel like a honeymoon.
Perhaps I'm too idealistic.
I think falling in love is great, but loving unconditionally is even better, for both people. While you're falling in, you get to dive through the beautiful outer layers of a person that have been carefully grown and perfected to present to the world...and it's lovely. The farther you go in, though, the more you uncover the real parts of the person...sometimes, the darker, uglier, and even painful to discover parts. Sometimes, the honeymoon ends at this point, because we decide that we could find someone better, someone more whole. And maybe we can. But instead of trying to change them into what we wished they'd be, maybe we can choose to love them as though they already are perfect.
A jumbled mess, I just wrote. I guess my point is that the honeymoon period is fantastic for a season, but I think every heart longs to move deeper and deeper into the kind of love that says, "I know every part of you, and I still think you're stunning and I still choose you forever."
I was actually wondering about this. Thanks for posting it!
I think it really depends on the relationship. If you are willing to work at the whole relationship thing, the so-called honeymoon period can last for a longer time. If you aren't willing to work at it, the honeymoon period is not going to last.
Never let the Honeymoon Period end, IMO.
My parents have been married for 25 years, and they still walk around holding hands, kiss and hug, my dad still acts goofy as if they were still dating, my mom still is enamored by him, and they still wake up in the morning to kisses.
The Honeymoon Period ends when you take your girl for granted. Never do that.
I'd say it lasts a good month. If you have a busy life (with say, school or work), it's hard to keep up a relationship. Life gets in the way and no matter how hard you "try to make it work," sometimes it doesn't and the honeymoon ends. The hardships of carrying a life and a relationship start kicking in about, I'd say, 3-5 weeks into the real relationship once both partners realize-- I need to focus on my life too. Especially if the two partners have been single for a long time, it's hard to justify to the new relationship. Perhaps the "honeymoon period" ends when independence calls and wants its dayjob back.
An everlasting honeymoon period is idealistic. Everyone wants that. Few actually get it.
Well, for me, I still get butterflies when I see him or think about him sometimes. And we're going on three years. But I think the honeymoon period was mostly over about a year ago. Not to say that I don't still love him, but it's gone from the honeymoon-jittery-stomach feeling to a more comfortable, mature kind of love. Either way, though, it's unconditional. I love him for the cynical, big-hearted geek he is. And he loves me for the happy-go-lucky, flighty slob I am. But yeah...for me, the honeymoon period lasted for two years. Now we act like an old married couple*lol*. So the passing of the honeymoon period isn't a bad thing, just the natural progression of the relationship. Sometimes it means you've grown apart, sometimes it means you've grown together. It just depends on the relationship.
I think J and I have a recurring honeymoon period. There are times when we are more relationship-focused and times when we are kind of... blah. It comes and goes.
I think it only lasts a few months... but I think you get it back after a seperation... I know that when my hubby and I are apart for a few days... it is always that way for me when I get to see him again...
The Honeymoon Period is a nice illusion. It's when two people get together, oblivious to each others flaws and imperfections, wrapped up in some kind of mutual love ecstasy. And once these things reveal themselves little by little, people who are in it for themselves lose interest in the other person because that person isn't as perfect as they thought they were.
People are not perfect, but that's ok. It's the people who understand this and love regardless, or even more -- who love BECAUSE of it, who go on to have enduring, meaningful long-term relationships.
Let me share with you something about shoes and love.
There's something inherently beautiful about a custom-made shoe. It's not because it was made in Rome or London by the hands of an old-world master craftsman. It's not because it was made with materials so fine that mere money cannot buy it. It's because that shoe was made JUST for you, crafted around your foot to fit perfectly.
Commercially available shoes are based on the average foot. This is why even $500 dollar shoes don't fit perfectly. If there were such thing as a perfect shoe, it would be crafted around the theoretical perfect foot. And when I stick my foot into that shoe, it will not fit. Because I don't have a perfect foot. I have my foot. The perfect shoe for me is the one that was made to fit my foot. If anyone else put that shoe on, it will not fit right either. My foot is pretty screwed up, from years of fighting. And yet, a custom-made shoe fits perfectly, even though that shoe by any one else's measure, would be screwed up.
The other thing about custom made shoes is the leather. Commercial grade leather looks decent, but it has no character. When you have good shoes made, the leather has character. It has blemishes. It has marks. It's nowhere near perfect. But it's those things that set that leather apart. It may be messed up in the eyes of one man, but in the eyes of the shoe's owner, it is the most beautiful thing.
Love and appreciate for everything they are and everything they are not. For their imperfections and flaws as much as the rest. That's Love that's better than any Honeymoon period.
probably a month or so. You can't have it everyday, but there's nothing wrong with having it once in a while. It makes it more appreciable.
I don't believe in a honeymoon period 'cause to me, it makes me think the spark in the relationship is gone. Then you weren't ever actually "in love" as you claim.. it was more on-the-surface.
Personally, I want to fall more & more in love with my significant other each & every day. I want to learn something new about him & us 'cause that's what keeps things interesting. I may be naive, I may be an idealist but I believe this is possible.
thanks for subscribing.
I think that the "honeymoon" stage is really just the spice in your relationship. When you are a new couple everything is still undiscovered. Each thing you realize about your new S/O is like another piece to the puzzle being revealed. IMO, it has to do with chemistry. This person is becoming a new part of your life and your brain is getting used to having them to depend on. Once you are used to it and settle into a routine (or at least, a lifestyle together)... some of that 'spice' leaves. If you keep finding new ways to look at your S/O (by dong new things together) I think you can keep the 'honeymoon' going as long as you like.
-L
@auralay_ariemay@xanga - beautiful. I agree.
I would consider myself out of that exciting, "honeymoon" period. It lasted for quite a while though... and it never just ended. It's not something that switches on and off like a lightswitch. For some, it fades out into nothing. For these people, the excitement eventually melts away to reveal that it was just that: Excitement. For those of us who are more fortunate.... it morphs and deepens into something even more wonderful. As great as the honeymoon phase is, I would never give up what I have now to repeat it.
@auralay_ariemay@xanga - Amen to that.
In terms of my relationship it lasted roughly 6 months then poof gone
It hasn't ended for my 10 month relationship. If it does end, well, so ends the relationship.
Maybe not as intense, but there always needs to be something similar going on.
I think it varies from couple to couple. And it depends on how much you see each other and stuff in that time.
What kind of dumb question is that? There's no one answer. It depends... on a ton of variables.. And who says it necesarily goes away? You should always have some excitement, or maybe you're doing something wrong.
But for your other question, what do you do when it fades? If its serious, you stick around and you find what you love about the other person. And if it was just for fun, you cut bait. And go fishing again.
first 3 months are the best. if it's crummy and full of arguments, it's time to bail ship and move on.
I'm still in it two and a half years later. Actually, it dips and fades occasionally when I'm really stressed or he's really tired, in which case we revert to a comfortable companion/partner relationship. But usually, he still makes me get those butterflies, and I'm every bit as in love with him as I was when we first started dating.
@auralay_ariemay@xanga - Not completely a jumbled mess. I understood it. Well said.
@the_last_kiss - haha...your parents sound like mine. 35 years and they still act cute and hold hands when they walk down the street.