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Mr. MacchiatoMrs. Macchiato and I have very different approaches to fun!
There are three main ingredients to her perfect weekend:
- Adventure! - The Missus loves to go to new exciting places, and do something crazy. She's gone sky-diving, bungee jumping, scuba diving, zip-lining - you name it, she's probably been there, done that.
- New Experiences - I can eat the same meal over and over (honestly, I once ate the same meal for 3 years straight). But Mrs. Macchiato prefers to mix it up. For example, lately we've been going on walks along the Hudson River in New York City. I would be happy to go on that walk once a week for the rest of my life! But after she's done it a half dozen times, it kinda loses its thrill for her.
- Planning - I am not a planner at all... or as I prefer to think of it, I am "spontaneous". Last night, we went out to eat a late dinner and just started walking... and I realized we were walking in the general direction of the Spotted Pig, a local British & Italian restaurant open til 4 am. So we went and had a great time. But it was definitely not pre-planned.
I know that Mrs. Macchiato appreciates how my spontaneity "balances" out with her planning. But I'm sure she would love me to plan a new adventure now and then - she must get tired of planning them all herself. So I decided to take off my spontaneous hat, and try out her planning mindset for a change.
A friend of mine had blogged about a great trip she took to the Hudson Valley, which is in Upstate New York to the north of Manhattan. So I started doing some Googling, and found a quaint town near where she visited, about an hour-and-a-half north of the city. I did some more digging, and from 9-1 pm there is a farmer's market with amazing produce... and there's also a gorgeous bike trail around there where we can rent some bikes. And at 6 pm and 6 am every day, there is a hot air balloon ride you can reserve. She's never been in a hot air balloon before, so that sounds perfect!
So now this lazy spontaneous non-planner is pulling together a detailed itinerary for the weekend after next. We'll be taking a Zipcar up to a B&B, and then biking and ballooning for the day! Then we'll come back to Earth and zip back to NYC.
This sort of intense planning is really out of my normal approach to things, and let's not kid ourselves: I can't keep this up. But maybe 3-4 times a year, I can pull together a plan like this and surprise her.
In your relationships, are you the planner or are you the "spontaneous" one? How does the dynamic play out for you?
Comments (26)
I'm more of the spontaneous type, and so were all the other girls I've dated in the past. Perhaps that's why I'm single right now!
Kinda funny how you consider yourself spontaneous, but will eat the same meal for three years and walk the same route forever.
I'm definitely the spontaneous one in the relationship. My ex-boyfriend used to want to plan every single thing out. It drove me insane!
I'm curious--what on earth did you eat for 3 years straight?
I'm curious, too... what did you eat for 3 years straight?
Cereal?
I am both.
If given the opportunity to, I can plan an entire two week vacation down to 15 minute increments, taking into account transit time, traffic flow, rest periods, etc.
But at the same time, I've been known to pull up on my motorbike and say "get a backpack, let's go."
"where?"
"wherever. carmel. napa. vegas."
And we just go.
Oo, the Hudson Valley...sounds like you're getting closer to where I am. :P
Spontaneous, I tend to flake on well-made plans.
I'm definitely the planner and I pretty much plan all of the things we do and he just goes along with it all. Once in a blue moon, we do a few spontaneous things. He isn't spontaneous or a planner, he just talks about planning but doesn't do it! So our next fun outing is supposed to be planned by him, we'll see how that goes!
I'm totally the planner, and my boyfriend is a "go with the flow" kinda guy. Your trip sounds wonderful, very romantic. I wish my guy would pull one of these every so often. Nice going, she'll love that.
I can plan trips, though it takes up too much work and effort. I definitely prefer the spontaneity. I think they're more fun anyway.
Honestly, just in life in general, I tend to be both. I'll be the friend to call up and ask if they wanna drive to Milwaukee for a concert that night, and sometimes I'll be the one to plan the entire day trip 3 months ahead of time. =P
I'm the planner but he's neither. He always asks me what I want to do, so I guess I'm stuck with the planning. We're trying to do new things this summer but there's not much to do in Toronto.. seems like we've done everything!
When I try to plan for things one of two things happens; one is that I will come up with an extremely barebones plan that a planner would likely not even consider to be a real plan or the other is that I spend months on the planning and I come up with a plan for every contingency I can possibly imagine. Both of which tend to irritate planners.
I can be the planner but like you I prefer to be spontaneous, but I do like trying out different restaurants all the time
i love it! how romantic! girls love love love to be surprised by their sig others. but winsor isn't a very good planner either generally, but once in a while when he does plan stuff he goes all out, so it makes up for it. lol
Wow. Can I come?
He's the planner, and I'm spontaneous. It works out really well because I'm always easy going and up for any plans he might come up with. He likes it because he doesn't have to take anyone else's plans into consideration.
The only times this arrangement doesn't work so well are when things don't go exactly as planned (flat tires, flaky friends, having to wait for a table, etc). When that kind of thing happens to me, I just laugh and keep going. When it happens to him, he has to regroup and replan. It's great.
hmm, it's kind of strange you'd consider yourself spontaneous when you eat the same meal for three years and walk along the same path forever....
I'm definitely spontaneous. It keeps everything fresh and beyond the restrictions of a plan. It opens everything up. But to equal it out most of my guys are the planner type to keep me in check :)
I'm a planner, simply because I enjoy being creative and coming up with new stuff, but I love being spontaneous too. Planning makes for a "nicer" possibly more "special" date, but spontaneity can lend itself to the more memorable and at times more romantic dates. i don't need something planned in advance, I just appreciate it when my man has something in mind or thinks of something, even last minute rather than asking the worn out question "What do you want to do?"
I seem to be the planner in all relationships (including friendships) which gets really old and really annoying. I would love for someone else to plan something for once! Gah! Even if my friends "plan" something, I end up doing most of the work of pulling it together. Their idea of planning is saying "let's do this." and then they don't actually do anything so I get stuck actually planning the trip. *sigh*
However, I think being a planner doesn't mean I'm not spontaneous. I'm much more open to adventure than a lot of my friends, it's just that some adventures require a certain amount of planning (such as your hot air balloon ride). But if plans change, I can roll with it too.
I think that's sweet (: I have to say, I'm kind of like Mrs. Macchiato because I love adventure and trying new things, but I don't mind doing some things over and over (: It brings back memories.
I think I'm more of a planner but kind of both. I like to plan things out sometimes, it's in my nature (:
I am definitely the "planner" in most of my friendships...but in a relationship, of course I'll still be a planner but I want to find someone who is also willing to plan FOR me, take initiative, etc. to impress me.
I think your wife and I would get along pretty well....I totally agree with her...I am always trying to mix things up, and do something new and fun and different, unique, out of the ordinary, etc.
I even "plan" sections of time to be spontaneous, if that's possible (trust me, it is!)
I think weekend afternoons should be reserved for planned activities but not weekdays...the work week is as scheduled as it is!Â
I have to plan my day. I can't go spontaneous....it drives me nuts not knowing whats happening.
I'm the planner, and not to be sexist, I think most women are.
I always need to know when, where, how, etc...while every guy I've gone out with so far were the typical "Don't worry, we'll figure it out as we go along" type of guys.
Part of me obviously got annoyed by this, you know...how can they just be so 'non-caring' about it, while I'm busting my ass to make sure everything is perfect...and then the other part of me envied them, because I wish I could stop being a planner girl.
But then again, this whole planning thing..it's also being in control...which we all love. And I guess spontaneous people would rather go with the flow then get in control.