Monday, 07 July 2008
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That "You complete me, I can't live without you" kind of love
By mikim0to (guest blogger)
I worry.
A lot.
Most of the time, it's about inconsequential shit not worth worrying about, like whether or not I should dye my hair back to blond again. (I won't. I don't want to be a bald, bald bitch by the time I turn 30.)
CHYEAH, son. I so gangsta.I don't know. I sort of feel like I fret about my future moreso than other people my age normally do. But lately, rather than losing sleep over the usual post-college decisions, I've been thinking a lot about my happiness in terms of personal relationships: personal, intimate relationships.
*gulp*.
You see, while a successful career can be achieved through careful planning and hard work, true love is never guaranteed. Long ago, I've come to accept the fact that I may possibly never find someone with whom I could actually fall head over heels in love with.
Possibly never.
I've accepted that fact, but that doesn't mean I've stopped hoping for that you complete me, I can't live without you kind of love. Because underneath all the doubt and scorn harbored by typically jaded, cynical people like myself, there lies a teeny, tiny ounce of hopeful romanticism.
Not hopeless, but hopeful. There's a difference.
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Comments (35)
I AGREE.
keeping hoping, and keep trying, and don't give up!
I totally agree =]
It kind of makes me think of shoes and love.
I don't mess around. I don't get a pair of shoes that I love and leave them to ruin. I care for them the oldschool way, with polish, brush, chamois and love. I hold each one in my hand, and I spend more time on one square inch of shoe than 99.999% of men spend even looking at their shoe. I make sure each bit is taken care of, just right. I work my labor of love into each swirl, turning and checking and rubbing. And then as much time as I spend polishing, I spend buffing. I let my sweat drip down onto the shoe, and I buff my sweat into it. So that I'm a part of that shoe.
Many men have more shoes than I do. Many have less. But show me a man who cares for his shoes more than I do, and I will show you a man who knows how to Love.
I don't require perfection. Far from it. It's the imperfections... it's the flaws, it's the marks and scars and all the little things that make a shoe unique.
I don't want the shoe everyone has.
I want the shoe that fits right. That fits me right.
The kind that I could wear every day of the rest of my life, and be perfectly content with.
I want to grow old with a shoe. And polish it and care for it every day. And be able to tell people where and when I found that shoe. And about how the first time I laid eyes on it, I knew. How it stood out from every other shoe I had ever seen or worn in my life. How it was so imperfect that it was perfect for me. And how I swore, even though I couldn't afford it, even though I was in no place to lay claim to it, I worked my ass off so that I could have it.
Eh, I was always suspicious of that can't live without you type of love. I have come to the conclusion that such a thing doesn't really exist because when you have those feelings you are going more on a lust basis or something of the sort rather than love. Besides, everytime I have seen one of those types of relationships, it has ended in a truly nasty break up and both people and some of their friends were worse off than they ever were before.
Since I believe that is just something masquerading as real love I have no desire for that type of a relationship.
Really, I believe that you would be really very hardpressed to find any display of true love in any hollywood movie.
In order to love anyone else, you must first love yourself, and your love for another can never supersede the love you feel for yourself.
So, generally, people who say "I can't live without him!" are being overdramatic and whiney.
I am deeply in love, but I could definitely live without him. It'd be hard at first, but I'd live.
@infp2w3experiment@xanga - what a great analogy.
Very good! I generally agree with your sentiments.
@infp2w3experiment@xanga - that is so lovely, honestly. You, my friend, are lovely.
sometimes i wonder if that "you complete me" love really exists... i mean, we're comparing something we expect to feel from just a bunch of movies... i dunno though. sure would be nice.
Yes, even the most hardened cynics have a bit of hopefulness hidden in their hearts. True love is out there; you just can't hope that the movies have it all right, that things work out the way they portray it.
There's definitely a big difference between hopeful and hopeless. Sometimes the best things in life come to you when you aren't even looking for them.
People smell needy. If you are trying too hard to sell something, you won't sell it. If you show clingy and needy, it's a turn off. Ppl ought to develop their own self-interests before gettingPeople smell needy. If you are trying too hard to sell something, you won't sell it. If you show clingy and needy, it's a turn off. Ppl ought to develop their own self-interests before getting into relationships. into relationships.
aw wow. agreed :')
I think that "I can't live without you" and "You complete me" love is just a bit off. You can live without someone, it just might be difficult. How can someone complete you? You shouldn't need to be completed, you complete yourself first and then someone who compliments you comes along. I'm not cynical or anything, just a tad realistic I think. I wish you the best of luck in finding someone who you love deeply and who also loves you deeply.
make sure those two differences don't lose definition.
coming from experience, it can happen quickly.
::Rico::
I don't like the "you complete me, I can't live without you" kind of love. Love should be complementary, not supplementary. Life would be markedly different without, say, my Mom (when I move out/go off to college, y'know), but that's not to say that my life would completely stop dead in its tracks without her. I know it's not the same kind of love, but it's the same general idea. I don't believe in "I can't live without you" ... after all, you get along all those other years without them.
I feel like you jumped in my head and took the words out. I'm definitely hopeful not hopeless...even tho sometimes I feel hopeless about finding that "true" love. Glad to know I'm not alone :)
I think my main focus isn't about looking for someone who "completes" me, but for someone who complements me.
I know what what you mean!!
Good luck....
i really agree here.
im hopeful... you should be too!
I think we all still harbour that hope of an undying love and devotion. But real life doesn't work that way, people are too wrapped up in keeping their eyes open for the "perfect partner" that doesn't exist.
i am so very hopeful too...
Keep your mind and heart open.