By
Miss Double
ShotWhen we started bouncing
post ideas off of each other a month or so ago, I was really
uncomfortable opening up to everyone and rehashing what some of my
biggest romantic "whoops"es were. Fortunately, though, Mr. Mac and I
have the luxury of blogging with nicknames and using aliases for the
people we know - that little bit of anonymity makes it much easier to
say what we need to say.
Even though I was
busy mismanaging time throughout relationships, I still found time to blog during the
times I was involved with guys. Now, it's a good way for me to see how
I felt at the time and how I've changed since then, but not all of the
writing back then was useful.
The problem is that I'd
either
a) write vague, haiku-like entries that don't
make sense now
(2004: "my mind is elsewhere/I apologize in
advance")
(2005: "sometimes, i wish i had the balls to say
what i want to say/and that things were the way they used to be/and
that i weren't being an emo")
or
b) write detailed entries that I'd have to censor
afterward because the Boy of The Moment would read them and comment on
them. Do not want.
Is it a good or bad idea to blog about your relationships?
Comments (79)
i actually do that on my weblog all the time. i have a wishy washy im not sure where we are type of relationship that i need help with but no one seems to have any feedback for me.
it relaxes me to let it out though, even if people either don't understand what im saying or i have an incredibly blunt tell all entry.
maybe im just weird :[
just date someone who can't read.
Your hand, so soft, so delicate, wrapped and intertwined in my rough, worn fingers. You brush your fingers over my hand and feel the scars on my knuckles from beating hundreds of men with my fists. I close my hand into yours, and run my thumb along the edges of your fingers, feeling the texture of your skin and the texture of your fingertips, like the petals of a flower.
Against the palm of my hand, I can feel your pulse, still beating quickly.
In the still of the darkness, my eyes closed, I feel you.
I can hear you breathing, softly and deeply, exhausted, blanketed by tingling euphoria. I can hear you breathing over the whistling of the night wind through the slight crack in the window, over the sound of the occasional car driving down the battered concrete street outside, over the sound of dogs barking in the distance. I can hear you breathing over the sound of water rushing into the neighbor's shower through the wall.
My eyes are closed, but I know you're looking at me.
You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.
If you don't have any space away from your significant other or can't focus on anything but them then something is out of whack and you are not healthy. In other words, posting about a relationship isn't necessarily bad unless it is all you can do. also, if your SO feels that you are not entitled to any personal space then it is bad.
i just put it as private. i understand that the emotions that i feel at the moment are just that.. my emotions. after i calmed down and can think rationally, I then talk it out-- as long as i think it's an important issue.
oh, but the mushy stuff i just leave it open to the public
Depends on who reads your blog. I would definitely blog about my relationships, if I had anything particularly important to say. Anything that's on there is fair game for my boyfriend - or anyone else. If I don't want my boyfriend/others to see it? I put it on protected or private.
Boyfriend doesn't blog, so I'm all good! Just have to make sure I never link him to it or he might object to how much he's in it! >.<
I blog about everything, boyfriends included. I rarely use real names, though. But I did find myself going back and editing things post-relationship with boy #1...geesh...
This is why I have an anonymous blog. So hopefully even if the guys I was blogging about read them, they wouldn't know. (Or I'd just have to block them, haha.)
For me, I'm in a state of confusion. So most of the time I post something I hoping someone will give me advice or I'm posting just to get it off my chest.
this might reflect my nerdy side but there was a good NYTimes magazine article about blogging relationships.. for this one girl in particular, it completely ruined her relationship with her bf & eventually her social life.
I think it's fine to vent on a blog about relationships since I also do it.. but often times I leave it vague although I do make references to "him" & whatnot. but then after a day or two, I make it private 'cause that's exactly what it is.. it's a private matter. [that & word gets around & although he doesn't read xanga, he does have an account & access to my blog]. despite that lil fact, I do this so I can go back & reflect when I've cooled down & decide if I need to talk it out with a few of my close girl friends. [I never go in depth with my relationship issues with guy friends unless I need a male perspective & even then, I make sure I'm not going to him for comfort.] :)
i guess it takes time and the level of comfort you are in the relationship and if he/she reads it...
totally up to you...
i am blogging abt my relationship but putting them on protected...haha
make it private! =)
Depends on how likely your significant other is to find it. But you should ALWAYS use aliases and do your best to maintain anonymity for everyone you right about, whether you're writing good or bad things.
If things were going badly during the relationship, I would write protected posts (thank you, Xanga!). If I were happy, I'd write lots of happy posts. After the break up, all bets were off. Interestingly enough, at the beginning of my current relationship, I blogged a lot about it, good and bad, using a pseudonym for my soon-to-be SO because I knew he wasn't reading my site. He reads it now but everything is going well so I still don't feel like I need to censor what's going on.
Haha I've done that before.
It depends on how close are you with your partner.
IMO, my blogging about the relationship led to our break up. But that's not to say that it was the direct cause, it's just that blogging gave me a place to vent about problems int the relationship... and when he learned about the problems, he kinda realized how unhappy I was in the relationship... and suggested a break up.
I like blogging about relationships, but the problem is that many times the fact that your partner reads it makes the material that you can blog about very limited. And the frustration builds...
Of course it's okay to write about it if you're relationship is going well... but most of the times when people feel a need to blog/vent is when there is a problem...
I suppose the best solution would be to open an anonymous blog like missprettyinpink!
one thing i learn about relationships ... the less u say on the outside world the better.
I don't see anything too wrong with blogging relationships... Hell my last GF is compliments of Xanga... And we were together for like 2 1/2 years.. Not shabby if I say so myself... Sometimes blogging really gives people more of a window to view someone through... People tend to be more honest on their blogs then a dating website, cause on the silly sites people are always trying to put out their best and not put themselves out there. Of coarse I made this new username, because I didn't want my X reading my new posts DOH! hee hee.
@eternal_dreaming@xanga - thats exactly what i do.
sometimes its just easier to write things down to sort of - sort through things. and writing vaguely is a way to both let you explore your feelings (which always start out so foggy) and still respect your relationship.
i def make sure i respect my personal relationships and dont blast it online, esp with strangers reading it and all. and sometimes worse - friends who know.
overall, its good to blog as a vent, but i def make sure theres a clear cut boundary between writing to vent/writing to express/ and writing to communicate. sometimes, the people your blogging would appreciate a less candid portrayal of whats going on in your life. i do! lol and plus. its no good without a little mystery behind the words! ;) lol
@TheCheshireGrins@xanga - lucky lucky! lol i wish my SO read my xanga. i have so many entries inspired by him! anyway -- no censors for you huh? im still a little jealous. lol
even though blogging is a lot about sharing (thus the reason all of us come to discuss these posts on a regular basis)... I personally blog for me. So if I have something I need to get off of my chest, I blog about it. Even if it's about my relationship. If it's something I don't want my boyfriend to see, it's either posted as private or its posted on my anonymous blog outside of xanga.
I try not to regret anything I write, because as silly as it may be looking back, it was once how I felt and how I dealt with those feelings.
i think it's good to write down how your feeling, like in a diary, but if you don't want everyone to be able to see your most intamite thoughts then put it on private. if you don't really care if people read it or not then put it public
really its up to you, a personal choice
I created this new blog to blog about relationships...I plan to be vague enough so that my friends (who know me here in my hometown) and my current significant other also won't stumble upon it.
I'm not too worried about it...I think it's a good idea.
@cokeaddict@xanga - I effing lol'd. :D Hahaha.
I think it's an... okay idea. I think it's best to blog on a site that the current other doesn't know about [ie: My current boy doesn't know my Xanga, and I'm hoping he hasn't found it, or even looked for it, that way I can say what I want and not have him read it] It's better than a diary because you can get the feedback of others, while at the same time putting your feelings into words.
My bf is not on my protected list, so if I'm going through something that I need to hash out or get outside input, I post protected. Otherwise, well, I'm pretty upfront, and he'll tell you that there's nothing on my (public) blog that he hasn't heard straight from my lips.
As for him commenting on previous boys, well, he's pretty much of the 'let the past be the past' and doesn't comment. Unless it's a really dorky photo. :P