I was instant messaging with a friend, and he asked for dating advice. I wasn't sure what to tell him, so I promised him to post his situation on Datingish! Any words of wisdom?
Last week, I flew into Boston for a trade convention. I took a shuttle from the airport to the hotel, and on the shuttle ride I met the most fantastic girl. The shuttle was kind of full and she asked if she could share a seat with me. Because she was outrageously gorgeous, I said yes.
I asked her where she was from and she said she was from Nebraska. It turned out that she was in town for the same convention that I was in town for, and so we talked about our industry for a bit. We talked about other things, too, like sports and the weather and (for some odd reason) Canadians. I made her laugh quite a few times, but the shuttle ride was only 20 minutes so I’m not too sure if she felt the “connection” that I felt.
She was dropped off at her hotel first, and when she got up to leave she said that she hoped to see me at the convention. I didn’t ask for her number or anything because I was certain that I would run into her at the convention.
Well, I didn’t see her once during the 4 day convention. And the worst part was that it seemed like I saw every other person at the convention at least 5 times. Needless to say, I was pretty disheartened.
So, being the resourceful (read: not creepy) person that I am, I did some internet sleuthing and looked her up on Facebook. And I found her! Now I'm not sure to do.
So dear readers, how should our hero handle his Facebook dilemma?
a) Poke her
b) Friend her and see if she accepts/rejects
c) Send her a brief message: "Hi Samantha, it's me _____. How are you?"
d) Send her a longer message but don't ask her out: "Hi Samantha. It was nice meeting you on the bus and I was disappointed that I didn't run into you again during the conference. I hope you had a good time in Boston. Let me know if you're ever in San Diego and are looking for a tour guide!
"
e) Do nothing.
On the flip side: have you ever met someone and then had them track you down on a social networking site? Is it kinda creepy, or is this considered more normal in these modern times?
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Comments (63)
I vote for D. If I was the girl and I got a message like that, I would most likely message back and send a Friend request.
d or e..
Being a female: I'd say "d" if you both had a really good time with each other, maybe she missed seeing you too. Step out and be bold enough to contact her. Don't poke or friend her, talk to her first. You never know...
Being a male I am going with D or E.
D and then B.... you've given her an explanation... its time for action. never A.
I'mma have to say D. Anything else would be rude, as if they were buddy-buddies already and they're not. D would probably be the best option, and as an added bonus, it gives her an excuse to call if she's in the area! =D
Good Lu~ck, mystery friend of Mr. Macchiato!
D seems like the best choice.
D is pretty much a no-brainer. Maybe, just maybe leave out the tour guide part and save that for later.
The rest are just lame or creepy in themselves. She may not exactly remember the friend well enough to make the connection from just a generic poke or "friending."
And it's pretty much a no-brainer because it's pretty much zero risk/effort.
Next time he should have gotten the contact information on the shuttle.
D.
if someone did it too me, there is at least a small chance I had been looking for them and am disappointed that I can't get a hold of said person.
If she doesn't reply to your nice little message, then don't do anything else. I liked what esch99 said, he's pretty much exactly right.
I've rarely had people track me down after meeting them once and I don't find it creepy but I don't know how other people would view that.
As for your choices I'd probably choose to go with making use of options A and D. I am a fan of poking and a short how are you message is rather impersonal in my opinion and in a situation like this you don't want to appear to be impersonal and uninterested.
I guess some version of D
Facebook was how my current boyfriend got in touch with me. Although, he really would've seen me two times a week with kendo practice. But it was sweet i thought :] and made me think wow... remembered my name (cuz i didn't talk to him the first time the group hung out) and wasn't appalled by the fact that i called him a liar. LOL.
I would say E. I'd be a little creeped out if someone facebooked me after one conversation.
Somewhere between c & d, unless you can send a message with your poke (which I don't remember if you can... haven't poked anyone in so long). Offering to be a tour guide imo is a little on the creepy side, but leaving a longer message then "Hey, it's me!" is kind of nice. Like a reminder of where we met or something, because people do forget things. And expressing a desire to actually talk, instead of just stare at her pictures, is nice too. :P
I did that once kind of... I didn't MEET him, but I kept seeing him EVERYWHERE. Okay, school, and work, and that bothered me, because I didn't know his name. I asked someone to find his name on the list of users while he was on a computer, and I did look him up on myspace. I don't know why, because I didn't add him or anything. It was just a "Yay, now I don't look at him and think he's some nameless stalker kid." o_o
wow, i'm surprised that ppl say D. i'd say B ... after you're friends, then i'd msg her.
She's from nebraska and you're from san diego?
None of the above, there's plenty of hot girls in San Diego.
Try friending her if you're realllly curious.
D D D D D D D.
She probably met a lot of people at a convention that was large enough for you to NOT run into her again. Just friend requesting might result in an "Ignore"... seeing as she might have no idea who is requesting her. It sounds like you two had a nice conversation. A simple explanation like that one will not be creepy, it will remind her exactly who you are, it will give her a chance to friend request YOU if she is interested, and it certainly opens up conversation if she chooses to respond! :) good luck!
Never poke. A poke from a stranger is just plain creepy.
D. That tour guide thing is a turn-off. Don't ever mention being a tour guide for someone until you become actual friends because it sounds so desperate the first time you start talking. It's like giving an incentive to know you even though she might not like you or even want you to give her a guided tour of some city she's never been in. If she asks you to be her tour-guide, then go for it. It's only okay to be a tour guide for coworker-out-of-towners that you've never met or friend of family you've never met, etc.
I choose D.
And I wouldn't consider it creepy, it's actually kind of sweet. The exception where it is creepy is that I clearly made it obvious that I'm not interested and the bloody bastard looks me up on facebook! THAT'S beyond creepy and annoying.
But for this guy's case, it's sweet. =]
I'd go D. Carpe diem!
send a message with your poke ;)
I'd say B and D, because if I remember right, I think you can give them a message when you ask them to be your friend, maybe to remind them. But I'd definitely say go for the longer message to make it look like he cared that he didn't see her.
Um, not that I think it's ok in modern times, but I don't think I would find it freaky, but it would have to depend whether or not I had a good impression of that person the first time.
I think D or E. A lot of guys will try to look you up on Facebook after you meet. It's kind of weird, but it also depends on what circumstances you met them under.
E! it's creepy to do that. she will think less of him.
if he actually thinks this is the one girl for him than maybe D, but if not he should just move on with his life and maybe find a girl that lives closer to him. ^_^
poke her. and now wait until she pokes you back.
it`s the safest. and if she doesn`t poke you back, proceed to b, or c.
I agree with the consensus, here; "D" is pretty suave!