By
Miss Double Shot
One of my college professors was fascinated with the way our generation uses the term "hooking up". She was amazed at how casually people my age threw around the phrase and how nobody seemed to pass judgment on said hooker-uppers.
"Hooking up" has this fantastic ambiguity to it where it isn't necessary to explain yourself further if you don't want to but, in my experience, refers to casual romantic encounters without a contingency plan. I know I've used it before to get myself out of explaining the gory details - it's sort of the "yada, yada, yada" for the new millennium.
My friend Stella and I routinely trade stories of epic romances in our lives, and in one of our more recent chats, she started talking about a guy she'd met and liked a lot.
Stella: Oh yeah, we hooked up a couple times, no big deal.
Miss Double Shot: .........oh? *wondering to self whether or not they slept together*
Stella: Yeah, whenever he's in town and has the night off, we get together.
Miss Double Shot: *uses context clues and determines that they do, in fact, sleep together occasionally* Oh, cool.
I wonder, though, if the casual attitude toward talking about hooking up is a reflection of how casually our generation views sex.
How do you define hooking up?
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Comments (51)
I might be telling my age but.....the term "hooking up" used to mean "kickin it" or "hanging out". Now of course it was usually in reference to spending time with the opposite sex, but it didn't mean a sexual encounter at all.
meeting up for sex. usually hooked up means u slept with the person. well, i think so.
it's along a slew of reasons for me, and like you said, most people have to use context clues to understand what I'm referring to. Usually it means another person of any gender and myself "met up to hang out", or it could mean that I'm telling of how two other people slept together, but there are times I also use it in the terms of getting in touch with someone. For instance an old friend comes back in town and I'll tell my b/f that we need to hook up with that person, get in contact with them.
I used to think that hooking up exclusively meant casual sex. I know thats not neccesarily means now however.
Personally, I don't hookup, but hey whatev.
My friends & I understood it as just hanging out.
I never really interpreted it as a one night stand or something...
My god, someone please answer this question for me.
People use it for so many different things. Meeting up with, making out, casual sex (or any other sexual encounter short of intercourse)... And you're right. context clues are the way to go. Unfortunately, I always get it wrong. I would be much happier if people would simply be blunt about it. It's nearly impossible to offend me anyways. :)
And yes (last thing i promise)... the frequency and casualty with which we hear this term being used really does say something about the casualty with which we view sex. It's a bit hard to understand for me, since I've never kissed someone I didn't end up dating for 2 + years. Weird, I know. I guess it's just how I roll.
These things are so darn nebulous.
I know people my age use it to say that they've slept together.
I think that people at my work (older generations) use it to say when they'll run into each other, or meet with each other. Awkward! :)
I guess it depends on the context... I do agree people use the phrase to kinda be ambiguous and do without the details.
I went on a trip with some college friends and this guy said "I'd hook up with an Asian girl... i have in the past" He was talking me and my friend (we're both Asian- American) and we have this confused look.. and asked "what do you mean 'hook- up'?" of course-- he just ignored it LOL.. But she and I know exactly what he was saying. (the guy is a mexican- american)
ive always used "hooking up" for making out. if i'm talking about sex, i'd say "sleep with"
I'm probably showing my age... but my friends and I always used the expression "hooked up" as a way of saying we made out with someone... it didn't mean sex, just making out.
I use the term "hooking up" when it's more than just making out, but it's not sex. Something like oral sex, or in other words getting past "first base" but not quite "home plate."
Wow I guess everyone's interpretation is different. I agree with beachblondie... I wish people would just be more blunt about it. I guess to me hooking up means making out.. but it can always mean more or less.
friends say that they hook up with someone, that means they had sex, but they are not dating.
Before I went to college, "hooking up" meant having casual sex with someone. When I went to college, I had a roomie from Upstate NY who defined "hooking up" as just a random make-out. I still don't know what the proper definition is...
for heterosexuals, it seems to be used that the people got to hang out with eachother. I guess it depends on the context of the sentence.
But for gay conversation, "hook up" seems it's all about casual sex.
I'd say it means anything from making out to casual sex. Like you, contextual clues are a big help to figuring it out!
You are right, I think that this generation does view sex too casually. Sex is supposed to be something special between a married couple or domestic partenership, not just something to do if you are bored on a friday night.
yea, 'hooking up' is very ambiguous these days ..sometimes im not even sure if im using the word right or if ppl would understand what i mean ..but i think it means..getting together with somebody but not necessarily having sex ..like maybe they got into a relationship like for example, my bf and i hooked up at a club ..like we started dating ..but we didnt have sex... but i agree, the term could be very confusing!
hooking up=sex
it's like free love during the hippie days. flower power!
hooking up means to make out with not sleep with, or atleast that is my oppinon
I don't really know how to define that term. I have never used it, my friends don't use it, and I've only really heard the term during the little time I spend with my more out-going and very open, sometimes uncontrollable friends/family members. So, I don't really like the term, though when I hear it, I wouldn't think straight to sleeping together, I'd think more like meeting up a few times and maybe making out.
were you a student of linguistics major? i wondered how your prof would be interested in the meaning and the use of a term. We dealt with that in our field of studies, even little difference between two words when we were dealing with a specific aspect of language and communication system.
anyways, just quite curious about that...maybe my comment is a bit out of topic.
in my twisted midwest world it means anything from kissing to sex and if you want more details then that you have to dig.
In my world, "hooking up" is definitely a vague term possible referring to a pash-fest, or goign all the way.
I do agree lots of ppl these days view sex too casually. And I don't say this because I'm conservative, but rather because I think it causes so many people hurt.
Believe it or not, I actually think the people who sleep around do so because they're trying to find some sort of acceptance, approval and security. Or perhaps because they're scared of being hurt by expectations of a long-term relationship.