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Miss Double Shot You know Bennifer, Brangelina, Speidi . . . I've even seen Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz referred to as "Ashlete". Whatever the cutesy nicknames may be, the reality of their situations is that these couples are referred to as a collective unit. It's not just celebs who are joined at the hip, though.
Two of my friends in high school, Jen and Ken, dated for as long as anyone could remember - they'd grown up together and had the same group of friends. In a group situation, though, they were "Jenandken" and would be treated as though they were one person: "Hey, are Jenandken coming? What do Jenandken want to eat?"
Initially, it wasn't an issue because they were together all the time anyway, but as time went by, it was clear that Jen was tired of being one half of a two-headed friend.
Jen and Ken eventually broke up, citing the need for space, but I'm pretty sure "space" meant "my own personal identity back". Even now, they're still good friends, but the breakup was good for them because we, as friends, had to think of them differently - as each being his own person.
Do you know a collective unit couple? Have you ever been part of one?
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Comments (24)
Most collective couple units like it... and they annoy me. I'm too independent.
Me and my boyfriend are referred to as that all the time, cause we apparently are always together. To be honest, we are two completely different people. I am a vegetarian that doesn't like to eat a lot and he'd rather sit watch TV and eat bacon all day. Ha.
@Appleninjaa - haha, at least you didn't become each other like so many seem to do.
One of my good friends was a part of a couple like that. They broke up months ago, to her relief. She felt smothered.
Another friend of mine in a close-knit relationship got married to the guy and remains happy.There is clearly a difference between being a couple in love and a couple with entangled identities. Superficially there are similarities, of course, like seeming to be together nearly always. If one or both people draws all of his or her validation, sense of self, and well-being from the attentions of the other, the results are usually not very good. Someone gets smothered, someone gets hurt, and eventually someone gets out. At the same time, I wouldn't want to be with someone for a long time and eventually get married if I didn't enjoy spending lots of time with a person! Being referred to as a name combo can seem tacky or cute- depending on who you ask.
Yea I've been a part of one. What you described in your post is basically the reason why we broke up. I just didn't want to be meandhim, and instead just me. =)
When I was in 9th grade, there was a collective couple unit named Angela and Matt. They were dating since they were middle schoolers. (Angela and I were both freshmen and Matt was in 10th) They were always together and on their Myspace profiles had each other plastered all over it. Ange's pic was on Matt's and he captioned,"OMG I love her so much I will marry her."
Whenever someone mentioned one, the other came in mind. They fought all of the time and eventually broke up.
I honestly could never be in a relationship like that, because I just don't need someone to depend on for EVERYTHING. I don't need another half, because I am a functioning individual and I don't need to plaster my MySpace page with his face on it just to prove my undying love for you.
I am a private person and I don't need to broadcast my business.
As long as you know that I care, you're good.
<3
@adifferentkindofbeautiful - ugh. I know what you mean. ha. That would just be annoying.
I consider those relationships to be highly unhealthy for the people involved and possibly even for some of the close friends. All of the couples like that whom I have known have eventually had messy break ups resulting in neither one knowing who they were anymore.
Nope, I don't know any of my friends to be known as one collective unit. Either I don't see them always together, so I wouldn't link them that way. Or I just always see people as separate identities, and never as them and their boyfriend or vice versa.
I dont know if I was ever a collective unit, but I was often referred to as "Zach's girlfriend" by a large group of people during 10th grade. Zach and I went to different schools... me attending a small private school and Zach going to a huuuuuge public school. Then after I was "Zach's girlfriend" I became "Rich's girlfriend who used to be Zach's girlfriend." Rich went to the same school as Zach. That was not a good decision on my part.
I'm Susan and my husband is Brian - does this make us Brusan?
Went to Las Vegas and got drunk...have not recovered - sorry.
yeah, i only refer to the couple as a unit because they are joined at the hip and well where you see one you have to see the other. they don't have their own personality nor personal life away from the sig other. seems unhealthy to me.
I am Ade and my wife is Sri, so you can call us Adesri..
I knew people like that. When I was writing out a list of people to invite to my birthday celebration a couple of years ago I actually almost forgot to seperate Ludrian into two people (Lucy and Adrian respectively). Some couples are happy like it, others aren't.
People tried to mix mine and my partner's names together, but to be honest we're not like that. Yes, during college we were always together, but that's because we went to college together. It's not like it was much effort to see each other. And while I definitely identify as Joe's girlfriend and can get introduced to other people as such, (and the same goes for him being introduced as my boyfriend), we are very much our own people.
I don't think there is anything wrong with being a joined-at-the-hip couple, as long as you're still seperate people within that. Think of twins, yes, they're twins, and that's a big part of who they are, but you can still differentiate between the two; get what I mean?
I have DEFINITELY been one half of a whole. For the past three years, my boyfriend and I have gotten along amazingly! The only problem? We are in the same group of friends that originated way back in high school. This meant that we were referred to as "Bri and Pat" and treated as a unit. This didn't bother me most of the time. But when people started assuming things or lumping our opinions and actions together, it really annoyed me. Once a friend of ours got in a huge fight with Pat, and then didn't invite either one of us to a party we had been looking forward to (where her boyfriend, and OUR GOOD FRIEND, was home from Iraq on leave). I mean really, just because you're mad at my boyfriend, does that make me automatically his ally and therefore your enemy?
Things got better when we went to separate colleges for a year. We are now at the same college, but have our own lives and identities and friends. We can still be attached at the hip when we feel like it though, which is nice
lol I don't think the boy would ever allow that. I wouldn't either. We're both very independent people and though we're ridiculously in love with each other and honestly enjoy spending time together, we aren't boyandsammy and we're happy with that. We both need our me-time as much as we need our us-time and we aren't afraid to ask for it when it's needed.
The people who seem to have the biggest issue with it are our friends and co-workers (we work together) who are always saying we don't act like a normal couple and that seeing each other outside of work only a couple of times a week is a harbinger of Bad Things. Apparently being with someone requires you to fuse yourselves together at the hip and become one brain, one life, like some strange, twisted hive mind or something.
He and I are very clear on how we are with each other at work -- we keep things professional and casual. Yes, we sit together for lunch and such, but that's the extent of it. All but our good friends didn't even know we were together until a couple of months ago, and we've been together for 7 months now. Our company doesn't forbid relationships, but we don't want our nosey, drama-addicted co-workers in our business anyway. Our closest friends know how close and loving we are when it's just us, so the opinions of everyone else don't really matter. We have our own way of handling our relationship and it's working well for us, no boyandsammy-closeness necessary.
Everyone refers to my brother's friends Brandi and Fran (a couple) as Frandi. "Oh, is Frandi coming over?" I think it's cute, but I wouldn't want that for myself. I am Michelle Downs not Mack of Jichelle hahaha.
I don't think I've ever been in a situation like that. I love spending time with my boyfriend but if we're always together 7 days of the week, I'd be craving more and more for some "me" time. I know he feels the same way too so I'm glad we're still two independent people who don't feel the need to constantly be with the other person 24/7 =)
As for the couple name, people have always called us by our respective names. I think maybe only 2 people, during our entire relationship, have said to us "you're will and grace? oh, you're like that tv show!" haha uh yeah except for the fact that my bf's not gay =P
Ironic that I'm posting right after a response regarding Will and Grace - as my best friend and I have acquired those nicknames. And we basically ARE the TV show (He's gay, btw, making Will and Grace appropriate.) We are, more often then not, considered a unit. It's never become an issue, often we agree. However some of our friends feel the need to take it too far, and that becomes annoying.
i guess me and my bf kind of are but not really.. but people always talk about the other when they are talking to us.. and they expect us to be together all the time.
One of my closest friend has morphed into a collective unit and it kinda makes me sad because I don't see her as much because she's always with her bf. Even when I do have them come out, they are pretty much physically inseparable, so it makes it a little awkward being around them when they're always kissing, hugging, holding each other, and being in a love bubble.
I think i have been part of one, back in hs/early college, and it kinda cut off the rest of my life/individuality, i don't ever want to be like that again.
When our friends Ben and Annie started going out, after a few months they randomly became 'Benannie" and it was strange not to see them together.
Having classes with Annie helped that a little, but it still looked sort of empty. O_o To the point where if they weren't together, you had a 'Benannie Split', which was just disgustingly cheesy.
you could say i'm 1/2 of a collective unit. well, of two, if you want to look at it beyond the terms of relationships.
my boyfriend and i as well as my best friend and i. for as long as most people can remember, my boyfriend and i have been together, joined at the hip, and my best friend and i have been joined at the hip. i'm, for the most part, seperable and can go from one to the other without problem, and without identity loss.
my boyfriend and i - melissa. (mike and alyssa)
my best friend and i - jalissa/ami. (jami and alyssa)
I've known one, but never been a part of one