By
Mr. Macchiato
We had a
recent guest blog by an Asian girl where she mentions the infamous dancing circle: "[Asian guys] bust that move where they dance beside you, hoping you'll let them join your circle of dancing girls. Did Asian guys invent that?"
We got some interesting comments about that:
- "I think it only seems like Asians do that because you frequent Asians only places. I've seen it happen in all clubs. Guys just dance up to you."
- "lol oh c'mon it's not only asians who try to invade the ... circle [of girls] is it??"
I did some asking around and it's true: Asian guys did not invent the "dance beside the circle of girls" move. That was erroneous racial profiling, and I apologize to all Asian guys (my white half also apologizes to my Asian half).
To atone for my sins, I did some further research on the subject: i.e., I asked my wife to decode how the dancing circle of girls works. She is Korean, so her observations only apply to her and her Korean friends.
Back in the day, she would go to Korean clubs with 2-3 girlfriends. They would have a few drinks and then hit the dance floor and form their own dancing circle of girls. So far, pretty much par for the course.
Then say a guy would come up and try to infiltrate their circle. This creates a minor crisis as the circle faces an important decision: do they let this interloper into their circle? Or do they make the circle tighter and ignore him, until he slinks away in defeat? I asked her what factors determine whether or not the circle lets the guy in. But she wouldn't tell me. She just said, "the circle knows".
She also said that if a guy joins the circle, he doesn't dance with one of the girls. He joins the circle itself, and dances with
all of the girls. It's actually considered rude to try and dance with a particular girl. You wait until a break in the dancing, and then invite the one girl you're interested in back to your table for a drink.
She wouldn't explain to me why the dancing circle of girls sometimes degenerates into lesbian-ish freaking. If anyone has insight into that one, I would love to hear it.
If you're a girl: do you ever form dancing circles of girls when you go out? If you're a boy: how do you infiltrate these circles?
Also for other races: is this a uniquely Korean/Asian phenomenon? Or does everyone form dancing circles?
Thank you for your help in unraveling the secrets of this dating ritual.
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Comments (53)
It's totally just a girl thing. Girls do it all the time, and it's not limited to just dancing! We do it at work, at school, at the mall, at the beach... Please don't ask me why we do it, though, I hang out with too many guys to have figured out the girl circle. It's just one of those things that happens! I can tell you one thing, though, there's always a mini circle within larger circles of 6 or more. Well, it's usually more like a line segment or a triangle, but you get my point.
Oh, god, what has math done to my brain...line segments?! Now we're line segments?!
well, i'm a young teenager so the only places i've danced at really are parties. well, "danced" meaning move a bit to the music. but i know what you're talking about with this.
"She wouldn't explain to me why the dancing circle of girls sometimes degenerates into lesbian-ish freaking. If anyone has insight into that one, I would love to hear it."
^^that could be because they are friends and are more comfortable with each other than a random stranger? who knows. i may know nothing.
I think everyone does it. here's some, I think, British people doing it. link.
Hmm.. I do form dancing circles with my girl friends-- but our guy friends do it with us. As far as guys infiltrating our circle-- usually a boy brings a buddy or a group of buddies and kinda partner up. so no one is left out, kinda thing. But it also depends if the girls or girl is single or not.
The last time I went clubbing (and i was in the relationship I was in right now) we decided no dancing with other guys.. just strictly girls. So we tried to "protect" each other from some of the creepers. A lot of the guys were very persistent, but i did a good job warding them off from me and my friends. and it helped that I had a group of guy friends who kinda circled in on us to protect us from them. haha..
lol, forming a dancing circle with girlfriends is just a natural thing we do. It's not like we plan it, it just somehow works out to be like that every time. But when we do go out with our guy friends, we dance with them too. Either way, there always seems to be this circle that is created to ward off people we don't know? lol. And as for who gets let into the circle, it really depends on who's trying to enter. We never talked about who we'd let in and who we won't, but every once in a while, when a creeper shows up and tries to get it on with one of my girlfriends from behind, we let the eyes do the speaking, and from then, we can decide to either let them be or pull them away from Creepy McCreeper.
I think forming dancing circles applies to all girls. It's an easy way to ward off intruders. :)
I was inspired to write an extensive post on my blog regarding this topic. haha. I've found this phenomenon to be ubiquitous.
I form dancing circles with my friends - guys and girls. I just don't feel comfortable dancing with strangers. Plus, most of the times these intruders are creepers who have had a tad too much to drink, which doesn't help.
"the circle just knows"
hahahaha -- love it.
The circle is totally a girl thing. Anytime we go dancing we dance in a circle... and if guys come to joing... unless he's a complete idiot we usually let him... It's definately not just an Asian thing though... I live in sheltered little utah where 50% of the community is white, 40% is hispanic, and the other 10% account for asians, blacks, etc
girls also feel the sensuality and freedom coming from each other. they know how they look and the dance has a reason that largely goes unspoken and ignored. i believe a guy needs to let the girls have their space at least for the first song or two before attempting to make a move. this circle is will become very friendly after the girls reach a certain level of heat. ♥sarina
HAHAHA This was such a fantastic post! Recommended!
I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. As a university student, I face the circle everytime I go to a club with friends (I personally choose to call it the trial through booty aflame). I think girls do it because they're not too confident with dancing alone so they want to be near friends and such. You know, like how some people can't stand to eat alone in a cafeteria some girls just can't stand dancing alone.
The whole thing you wife said about having to dance with "every girl" is definitely news to me. I mean.... do you realize how hard that is physically? What if one girl had do dance with 5 guys? Then again... if that's what girls prefer, I certainly wouldn't mind being surrounded like that
The way I break into the circle I suppose is kind of an act I suppose LOL! I walk THROUGH the circle. I just break through it without hesitation and I pretend I'm going somewhere. I try my best to make eye contact with the girl I'm interested in and if she returns it then I try dancing with her and see if anything goes from there. If not, then just try again! I go to a club to have fun! I don't like the whole creepy, "I'll sneak up and surprise buttsex her from behind and hopefully she'll dance with me ect.." it seems like a creep thing to do. Personally, I'm quite proud of my success rate, it's about 30% (which is better than 0% in my book). I also understand that a lot of girls who go to clubs go with dates/boyfriends so being turned down at a club is no big deal especially if the girl does dance with you and she has a date/bf it just makes you look like the villain.
Oh man oh man... I have so many nightmareish stories to tell about clubbing... The circle of girls isn't even close to the top on the list of things I'm afraid will happen when I go clubbing. I just see it as a test that girls do on guys to weed out the scared kittens from the brave lions! Rawr (LOL)! Not only is it a test, but it makes the girls feel safe + the whole buddy system incase some really creepy guy walks up and starts dancing, the girls start to take evasive maneuvers and get rid of the creep.
This is all from my experience though. I really loved this post, I was cracking up the whole time about the whole "judgement" that is thrown upon us that try to enter hahaha
@Ironstove - Sorry by dance with every girl, I just meant that you dance with the entire circle... you don't dance with any one individual.
Unless the guy can dance well, his best option is to avoid the circle at all costs. Otherwise, go for it. If you get shot down, so be it but if it pans out, that's several girls to hang on your arm all night long.
Yep. Girls dance in a circle. White girls, anyway (I'll speak for my own race). And your wife got it right...somehow the circle always knows who should be let in and who shouldn't. It's a bit of nonverbal communication between the circle members. One mildly disgusted look from one single girl and the guy is not allowed in, but one slightly "i might be interested" look and he's in. But guys, don't bother watching for these looks. They are VERY split-second, VERY subtle, and are quite possibly a look that only a girl can understand. Then again, I can only speak for girls and for myself; I'm not a guy.
Well, girls normally have that instinct to just form those dancing circles in clubs or even formals (like weddings, etc). I don't think it focuses on just one race, even though I'm Asian myself, and I'm partially defending my fellow Asians. But I think that some circles are more friendlier than others. When I'm out with my friends, we normally do the circle thing because it's more fun than dancing alone, anyway. I'm pretty sure that it's kinda 'gay' for guys to form these circles, so it doesn't work the other way around.
werd, thanks for the clarification
Girls form circles during dances at weddings and parties.. I dance with my girl friends.. :)
Thanks for letting me understand the whole dancing circle of girls thing. Perhaps because I rarely go clubbing, I've never gotten the cues or understood why the girls only dance with each other. I thought it was because asian guys can't dance (I'm just generalizing from my own experience). Despite being asian, I've always disliked attending asian clubs/nights. Most asian guys seem to stare on at girls on the dance floor and eventually and lamely siddle up to you. They don't dance. They bob. They sway. They hump. But they don't dance. I find it refreshing when guys have the guts to ask me to dance (not hump).
My friends and I do the circle thing to not look like lonely idiots, and also to protect ourselves and guys feelings. You know how you're just dancing there and all of a sudden you feel someone dancing behind you? In that instant before you have to acknowledge they are there, your friend gives them the once over and either nods to you that it's ok (ie not a freak or old dude) or shakes her head for you to politely move away. That way the guys feelings are not as hurt as me turning around and saying "Oh Gosh!" :P (I kid, I wouldn't ever say that).
I think it should be a rule for all men that if there are only two girls dancing with eachother, that you must bring a friend to dance with the other. Otherwise, what's going to happen is, the left-out girl is going to get bored and probably want to go home early, thus ending your chances of getting "lucky" or her number.
I live in a tiny island called Singapore and dancing circles are common. But for me and my friends, we dont have an all exclusive female dancing circle, we just have a dancing circle. Now if my guy friends want to dance, we let them join and dance with them.Â
There are of course at times when the dancing circle only consist of girls and thats cause our guy friends do not feel like dancing. I'm a danceaholic, when there is good music, i am dancing, even if none of my friends want to dance, i will be there dancing. And of course i have my friends at the back, watching over, in case anyone tries to be funny, where they will intervene. We almost never let anyone enter the dancing circle UNLESS he/she is just having a good time dancing and would like to partake in the dancing circle fun.ÂI'm a girl but I know how guys try and get into the dancing circles. They have a female friend come out with them, the female friend has to attempt to get into the circle and then her friends (the guys) join her, thus get into the dancing circle of girls. I have been told that girls respond better if there seems to be another female having out with the bunch of guys. I have no clue why, in my optioning girls view other girls as more competition than anything (though personally I know when I am out its just to dance and have fun, no other motive when it comes to guys as they are usually drunk anyway).
What a thing to analyse... my friends and I do sometimes form dancing circles, or we dance in partners. I think it can partly depend on whether we're in an odd or even numbered group.
It's also easier to claim a decent sized piece of the dance floor if you're in a circle.
As for guys getting in? I've only ever really had one especially persistant guy who pretty much just started dancing next to me and no matter how much we all tried to just ignore him, it took him ages to go away!
everyone does it. :) your question about "lesbian-ish freaking" reminds me of that old song by JC Chasez, "Some Girls (Dance with Women)."
Girls just wanna have fun. Plain and simple. Asian girls, white girls, black girls, purple girls, and polka dotted girls. Going out and dancing with your girlfriends is sometimes the ultimate way to unleash, feed off of each other's energy, and feel spontaneous, fun, and beautiful.
Slow down guys. Sometimes they are really just looking for a girl's night out. Don't interrupt the delicate balance! And if you must weasel your way in, please don't do it with pelvic thrusts. So unattractive. I hardly want to dance with you, let alone fornicate on the dance floor. Leave my ass alone, and keep it in your pants please :)