By
Mr. MacchiatoA "
Brain Trust" is the core group of friends you turn to when you need relationship advice. If you've ever seen Scrubs, you know what I mean (the
Janitor has an hilarious all-male brain trust). Carrie Bradshaw has her own famously all-female Brain Trust (see right!).
My own personal Brain Trust has shifted in composition over time. In college, it was made up of my three closest guy friends. I would bounce tricky dating situations off of them, and they would give me their outside perspectives. Since I had virtually zero experience dating, it was super useful.
As I got older, two things happened that caused me to lose faith in Brain Trusts.
First off, I saw that a lot of women also had Brain Trusts... and they gave TERRIBLE advice to each other. I mean like, epicly bad advice that didn't map on in the slightest way onto how men think (IMO at the time). On the flip side though, my entire Brain Trust was male. Maybe my Brain Trust was equally clueless?
I also had a bad experience with a girlfriend's Brain Trust. She told them
everything... which I didn't mind, except she wanted me to spend time with her friends too. I felt like Mr. Big hanging out with all four girls from Sex and the City... you just knew that everything I did and said was going to be dissected at Sunday brunch. I was dating her entire Brain Trust, and it was an awful feeling.
By the time I met my future wife, I didn't really have a Brain Trust. I trusted my instinct and experience, and kinda kept things mostly to myself. In retrospect, life is more fun with a Brain Trust. But I can't vouch for whether or now they are useful... I've had mixed experiences.
Do you have a Brain Trust? Do you find they give you useful advice?
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Comments (8)
Mr. Fantastic! really, its fits perfectly.
I wouldn't say Brain Trust, but I do know people that are happy to give advice.
I kinda do.. kinda don't. I share with my friends.. two.. but usually just one-- but it's not to get their advice.. but for comfort.. or for venting. I used to ask them for advice.. but i realized ultimately, it's seriously YOUR instincts and experiences that'll guide you the best... no one knows how you feel unless ur u.. and UR the one in the relationship... it's one of the important lessons I learned being in my relationship thus far.
You would have to have good close friends to have a brain trust. Also, a brain trust is completely useless if you don't have any dates or potential dates to get advice for.
I am male, and my brain trust, scamp female lovers. We are old enough not to take such things too seriously while still having scamp campy fun with it. It's all giggles, but when one gets down to serious choices we are given a heart to listen to.
I do. I think they give good advice most of the time, but if I ever doubt their advice I don't follow it. It's up to me and the person in a relationship to keep it going and no amount of friendly advice will change that.
However, what is said at Girl's Night...stays at girl's night! *cackles manically*
I wouldn't call them my brain trust, but I do have people I ask for advice from. Sometimes they give good advice, other times not so... I've tried to keep things to myself in the past, but in the end I just couldn't help but blurt out everything. So I guess not asking for advice isn't really an option in my case...
I don't really have a brain trust, I tell 2 of my friends pretty much everything that happens, and then there are a few guys out there that I trust enough to go to for advice, but that's the extent of it. Most of the time the guys don't really give me advice, but help me walk through the decision making process and guide me along the right path...
i just like to be clueless