By
Mr. MacchiatoThis is embarrassing, but I used to get nervous when I talked to beautiful women.
Then one day I read an interview with a beautiful newscaster. She said that she didn't get asked out to the prom because everyone was too intimidated by her! That's when I realized: beautiful people are people too haha. But seriously, she probably just wanted people to treat her "normally". So I decided that's what I was going to do.
But I wasn't just magically going to stop getting nervous. That's when Chandler Bing from Friends provided the final insight. He had this problem with dating where he would ruin relationships by looking for small little flaws. In one episode (The One Where Mr. Heckles Dies), he was on a date with a girl when he started examining her for flaws yet again:
My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!
Ha that still cracks me up! Anyway, Chandler Bing was using this flaws trick for Evil. I decided to use it for Good. The next time I met up with a beautiful woman, I scrutinized her face for flaws. Sure enough, one of her eyes was bigger than the other... plus, her right nostril was 20% bigger than her left one. How had I not noticed this before?!
I found myself realizing: she was a normal person, just like anyone else. Sure she was attractive, but it wasn't a big deal anymore. How could I be intimidated by someone with such a large right nostril? On the one hand, you could say that I am shallow and superficial for noticing these things. But at the same time, it helped humanize her for me... and I treated her just like any other person. That can't be a bad thing, right?
Well who knows. All I know is that this trick has helped me many a time. It's not just for beautiful people - it also works when I meet with rich and powerful people as part of my job. Basically we're all just human beings... there's no point in getting nervous meeting another human.
That's the theory at least.
Are you intimidated by beautiful or powerful people? How do you deal with it?
Comments (18)
Nice post =]
i used to be more intimidated by beautiful women, but my point of view sort of changed in college. i realized that the likelihood of my being the best looking or most powerful guy in a room at any given moment was pretty small, and not really something i could change. but, for every guy like me, there'd be ten others that were probably more self-conscious or less willing to take a chance...so my thought is, why be afraid of talking to beautiful women and asking them on a date, when the worst thing they could do is say "no"?
plus, i've found that smiling during smalltalk -- however pointless, silly, or inane the chatter is -- can make a big difference on how you're perceived, in terms of your overall appearance and confidence level. maybe i've just gotten lucky this way, but i feel like girls have a much harder time rejecting someone with a good attitude and pleasant demeanor.
Intidimated by power moreso than beauty. Usually when I met power players, they are the people who hold my job in their hands, so I become a bit intidimated.
Just like yourself, I can find myself getting intimidated by those who I see as "better than myself"... usually through terms like - as you mentioned - beauty and power. In the end, I find myself very quiet in front of those people. Now that you've mentioned how you got over that, I'm going to try your skills out!
I earnestly believe that more attractive looking people are nicer. I don't know, I just have bad experiences with ugly people. Of course when I say attractive I don't mean celebrities, but good-looking everyday people.
i get intimidated by good looking guys..so i can imagine how girls can feel that they can't relate by the way they look.
I find I'm not intimidated by beautiful strangers. Beautiful family members is where I feel intimidated. The family I just married into are very beautiful and I feel I fall short compared to them
I love seeing beautiful people! Sometimes I can't stop staring though...
No; most of my friends are models or are very hot.
If it makes you feel better, Tyra got a major nose job and breast implants and has fake hair, so... she wouldn't be that hard to approach from my perspective.
Power does intimidate me. And alot of the time, powerful people are beautiful, even if they paid for it.
no! because i am beautiful and powerful myself therefore i cannot fear those of my own breed!
okay, i was totally kidding about the above but i'm not scared of powerful and/or beautiful people. most likely due to the fact that i have nothing to prove and their judgment isn't worth any more to me than the judgment of a complete stranger. because in the end, that's what they are - just strangers. beautiful, powerful, strangers. once you realize that, there's nothing left to fear.
haha, that was a fabulous entry.
my favorite line: "How could I be intimidated by someone with such a large right nostril?"
I used to get intimidated by beautiful guys, I think its a natural thing lol
Trust me your not the only one
Now I luv being around them and I find myself staring all the time
sort of.
it's more of a "geez, im so friggin boring" moment for me when i meet beautiful people, lol. im also a quiet person and don't open up as much as i would with someone who seemed more average looking...
pitiful, i know...lol
-bliss
Both but more so with powerful people. My sister is very beautiful (she used to model) but she has really low self esteem so I always wonder if other beautiful people have that problem. Because of my sister I know that they're just regular people like you and me. Powerful people though get me really nervous and I doubt that will ever change.
Hmmm that's a very helpful way to deal with hot women.. haha.
Although, some girls like it when you get all nervous and shy.
Likewise, when women react like that to me, I'm usually flattered.
Now, if the girl has been getting that kind of attention day in and day out,
the ones that act differently from the norm would be interesting to her.
Yeah, use your powers for good, not evil.. heh heh...
When somebody has something you don't possess or is better in some way...it is intimidating. I'm usually intimidated by outspoken, yet witty individuals because I don't voice my opinion regardless of negative public feedback. Also these outspoken people are fatally indiscreet...and bring problems occasionally...I can never relate to these people. I wish I could, so we could understand one another. They're always or often "on", whereas I'm often "off".
Very attractive people are occasionally intimidating for me...but I seem to admire them for their qualities and want to know them...rather than doing the nasty with them.
Finding superficial flaws on an overall very attractive person doesn't work for me personally...I'm already aware that a physically attractive individual does not automatically declare them "perfect". They just have more chances than you, however I believe that it shouldn't matter if you're looking for companionship.