By
Mr. Macchiato There's one thing I find most fascinating about
Lucy (my friend who chips away at other people's egos). She is completely convinced that it is society's fault that she is not in a happy relationship.
Here are some of the explanations she has shared in the past:
- Men are threatened by strong women
- All the good men are taken
- Everyone out there just plays games
You know what? There's a kernel of truth to each of these. But on some level, I think it's important to take personal responsibility for your own dating life.
I like to assume that everything is my fault. That way, at least there is something I can do about it. I have control over the situation: I can try and fix things myself.
For example, when I was a freshman in high school I weighed 145 pounds. I could have said, "Society does not value scrawny half-Asian boys with thick glasses and mild social anxiety." Then one day I was clotheslined by some punks while biking to school. I went straight to the gym and started lifting weights, and I didn't stop until I had put on over 50 pounds of muscle (This took 3 years. It took a little longer to get rid of the glasses and social anxiety.)
I dunno - I find this much more liberating than blaming society. Yah, it sucks that society is unfair. But it's a lot easier to change myself than it is to change society.
Is society unfair when it comes to dating?
Comments (11)
Everyone has their preferences and yes society as a whole does encourage certain attributes but there are people out there who see things differently they just take more looking.
It sounds to me like Lucy just doesn't want to exert any effort and only wants to blame people. I know for a fact that not all men are threatened by strong women and that not everyone plays games. I know that because most of my friends don't play games and are not threatened by a strong woman. I suspect, though I can't say for sure, that there are an awful lot of good guys left out there in the world she just may have to be willing to broaden her horizons a little bit.
No, it's easy to blame society for your problems but if you continue to always blame society, you'll be miserable for the rest of your life. I truly believe that it's up to each individual person to be the vehicle for their own happiness whether it's with dating or anything else in life. It sounds like Lucy needs a reality check or she's going to continue to be unhappy.
Life only seems unfair to those people that expect life to hand them what they want when they want.
In high school, it's so much harder on the whole dating thing. People aren't mature enough...you've got to fit the part...no one cares for the skinny girl who's not a whore...they'll forever be stuck with the awkward images of you growing up and that's how they'll think of you forever. Or at least until they realize how much you've actually changed. Which'll be like...the very end of senior year. *eye roll*
I'm freakin' doomed
@NDM - Well said.
Society is always unfair, to everything...so yes...
Yes, it is unfair. And it can also be very cruel too.
Life itself isn't fair.
Fair? What the heck does that mean? Can you come up with a good example of something that's completely fair? What if it is? What if it isn't? Does this change anything for you? A better question would be . . . when am I going to stop asking pointless and meaningless questions designed to stir up guilty feelings and self-righteous chest bumping?
Yes, society is unfair. But there's nothing you can do about it so you might as well play up your strengths and learn how to get used to the rest.
Great blog...
Society is quite unfair as it usually is oriented around the superficial, however, we are individuals and responsible for the type of choices we make. So play up the positives folks but be responsible!
The society is somehow fair coz everyone in the world thinks its unfair. I am with you. People should change their attitude instead of blaming the society. Then everything will be fine.(that's life)