By
Miss Double ShotMy roommate is 31 and wants to settle down as soon as she can. She's coming off of a longish-term relationship with a guy who still lived with his parents and was a part-time videographer - what a winner! - and is struggling with being single again because she feels like she always needs to be in a relationship.
For her birthday this year, her parents helped subsidize a matchmaker's fee for her - she kicked in $500 and they gave her $1500. And, with any luck, that $2000 will find her the love of her life.
When she asked me what I thought about the whole situation, I had a hard time responding because there's a significant age difference between us, so I can't completely relate to her, and I think that amount of money could be spent on something more productive. Patience and tenacity can go a long way . . . but then again, she and I are a generation apart and have very different ideas of what we want in relationships right now.
Would you ever use a matchmaker to find love?
Recommend
Comments (12)
well... i'm not exactly at the desperate age yet. But I suppose alot of people tend to get desperate at a certain time and if that time comes, I may even part with more. It all depends on how desperate you get I suppose.
Although I'm not at the "desperate age," I was always the girl in a relationship. My last one went on for 5 years, and it was broken because of religion. Needless to say, neither of us really wanted to part ways. Afterwards, I fell into the biggest dating slump ever--except it was no slump; I felt I needed to date as many people possible in order to find The One--as fast as I could. It took about 7 months for me to get over it and realize what I needed was patience.
With that said, it took me a try or two on Match.com to realize that the price paid just is NOT worth it. A matchmaker, of course, is a more highly-respected route, but I feel trying to rush the process of love just doesn't work. It will happen when it's meant to happen.
Money can't buy that.
Whoa...31 is now the desperate age? I thought given the birth rate of single unwed mothers the desperate age actually started at about 20 with women looking for the next "baby daddy".
I don't see a problem with using a matchmaker service at all. The internet is the new telephone and a way for healthy people who are not looking for the club scene to meet people from all over the world. If someone is truly looking for a partner, then it seems kind of silly to me to avoid a possible place to meet someone.
I suppose that everyone kind of has their preferred timeline for getting married etc. but I just don't see how 31 is time for desperation. I suppose I really don't see a problem with using a matchmaker though.
I wouldn't use a matchmaker unless I felt desperate. And then I would have to convince myself (and maybe some friends) that I wasn't desperate, haha. :)
its more like using matchmaker to find companionship..not love~its easy to find anyone to get marry, its not easy to find someone to be married and loved.
I wouldn't use a matchmaker service. It seems to me like the odds are that the vast majority of people using those services are desperate losers and I wouldn't want to be hooked up with someone like that.
It seems to me that matchmaker = online dating sites, right?
Well I tried a online dating (eharmony) and I was lucky I found someone almost right away (less than a month), we just clicked, and he lives very close, we would have not met each other any other way, because we both don't really go out or have muntal friends. I actually can't think of anyone I would get along better with.
I think you need compatiblity for love to grow.
I don't recommend this to everyone, because it works for some people and it doesn't work for other. my friend's mother did online dating (eharmony) also and has gone on over 100 dates and still hasn't found anyone and warned me when I said I was going to try it. My b/f was on it for over a year before we were matched up (well that's because I wasn't on it).
I think for different people they have to meet differently, not one thing will work for everyone. ^_^
@raindrops23 - she's actually going to a place where someone shows her photos and introduces her to people! she says she doesn't like meeting people on the internet so this is a good (albeit expensive) alternative for her.
Match making websites are just reality dating shows with less cash involved... i dont see the point in doing it... there's special cases where people can find a connection, but over all i see no possible way to build a relationship in such a way...
I'm 30 this year and I could see how someone might get worried about finding a partner, especially if they've just come out of a long-term relationship. It's scary for them because they've been out of the dating scene for all that time they were with the ex, and now they're entering the scene again and they don't know what to do anymore, where to go to meet people, and all that stuff. Plus they look around and most of their friends are attached, if not married, and a lot of people keep telling them "all the good guys are taken".
I don't have problems with matchmaking, I think it's just another way to meet a potential partner. Good for goal-oriented people, perhaps
Plus, today's kind of matchmaking just introduces you to people who might be compatible, and lets you take things from there, get to know the person, decide whether they're really the one for you.
I think it's not the matchmaking that's the issue, it's the person's mindset that is crucial. If she's desperate, trust me it will show and it will put the men off. I'm of the firm belief that you must be happy with yourself first because self-confidence is one of the most attractive things about a person (not too self-confident until it becomes arrogance, though!). You wouldn't want to be with a partner who is clingy and always needs propping up in some way.
Personally, I'd use the money to take a holiday somewhere I always wanted to live and see if I could make a new life there because if I need to pay to find love where I am, it clearly isn't where I need to be.