By
Mr. MacchiatoI wrote about
my friend Lucy
and how she constantly whittles away at other people's egos. It was
really interesting to see how many people had had similar experiences
with their own "Lucy's" (haha, I loved how people used her name! But
just to be clear, the person is real but I renamed her
after Lucy from Peanuts).
Anyway, I noticed a theme to some of the dissenting commenters, around how ego is an outdated concept:
There
seems to be a sense of disrespect coming from Lucy's angle but I
wouldnt call that a lack of knowledge, for stroking a man's ego.
People
need to be secure within themselves. Its not your job, or my job, to
stroke anyone's insecurity. But that doesnt mean we need to expolit or
pick other apart either.
Again, stroking ego is like ass kissing. Its unattractive and ridiculous.
I
actually disagree. I am married now, and I feel it is my job to make
my wife feel good about herself. She is a very secure and strong
woman, so I don't view it as "stroking [her] ego". I don't tell her
things that are untrue (in fact, I have never lied to her about
anything). But I am her partner in life. Making sure she feels
confident and secure is part of my job.
There is this modern
concept that everyone needs to be "secure within themselves". I think
it's a useful concept: I do everything I can to be secure on my own.
But if life is perfect on your own, then what's the point to being in a
relationship at all? I think that when two people are together -
whether it's a date, a relationship or a marriage - then it's natural
for each person to be affected by the other.
So yah, I don't think that taking your partner's ego into account is "unattractive and ridiculous".
What do you think: is it unattractive and ridiculous to "stroke" your partner's ego?
Comments (14)
Nope, it's not ridiculous, because you are supporting each other, isn't marriage all about being together in two and equal. I think how you put it is in better words =]
I absolutely do not find it unattractive to stroke your partner's ego. Not every person on the planet can feel 100% secure in themselves all the time. We need an occassional pat on the back to help along. I don't consider it unattractive at all. In fact, I consider it attractive when men are able to let go of the macho stuff and be a little more sensitive for their partner...and vice versa.
I completely agree with you here
Nah, occasionally people need to be complimented, even if we're strong on the outside. And if you're not there for your partner, then who are you there for?
If your not going to stroke your partner's ego, who will?
@Southernlass - If I act all sensitive and stuff then The Rock is going to come up to my door one day and rock bottom me then confiscate my Man Card. I really like having a Man Card..... It makes me feel all warm and complete.
@Ironstove - Is the man card good for cuddling?!!!!
@Southernlass - No, but it qualifies me to do man things... You know, like walk around without a shirt on, fart in public, watch sports central, ect.... Sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good.
I think it's appropriate to stroke someone's ego only if you are stroking it with something true. Truth is one of the most important parts of any relationship.
If it's done to an exaggerated degree, then perhaps not. But otherwise, I agree.
I tend to make my boyfriend feel better about himself a lot, but not because I'm scheming to get my way with something, or anything like that. I mean everything I tell him.
@couldquitepossiblybeme - Exactly.
Just keep supporting each other.
I think a little bit of ego stroking is healthy, but you want to still be realistic. I dated a guy once whose parents fed him so much crap about him being awesome that he actually believed it.
I don't see it as ego boosting..sometime is great to tell ur SO that they are hot or they are perfect..nothing wrong with being positive and encouraging!
well if you do it too much, you might actually give them too much of an ego...perfect example, right here.