Datingish | true stories on the journey from single to *it's complicated*

Wednesday, 19 June 2013

Danger: Friend Zone Alert

One of my best friends, Teagan, is single, and to be honest, I don't understand why! He's one of the most considerate, laid-back, genuine, and intelligent people that I know. I can't say enough good things about him. The other day he was telling me about one of his friends that he has a crush on named Jenni (he's pretty much in love with her). More Here...
Can They Make It? Part Two: Religion

Last semester, I decided to do a research paper for my final project for a World Religions course I was taking. To get different perspectives on the concept of God, I interviewed some of my friends. For one part of the paper, I focused on those that did not believe in a god at all. I was interviewing my friend, Dean*, when we got into the role of religion in relationships. He is an atheist, but his girlfriend at the time was Catholic. They had been dating for about a year and a half when I interviewed Dean. He said they didn't really bring up the subject of religion, but he knew they would have to start talking about it eventually. More Here...

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

My Dating Journey: I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It

If you read My Dating Journey: Could He Be the One? then you know all about my love-at-first-sight-ish experience with Nathan, a skater boy who stole my heart. You also know how nervous a rebellious, popular girl, Mercedes, started making me feel. Despite the nerves, I continued to text and hang out with her (though the two of us never hung out alone). At first, our conversations were innocent; after a while, they became more and more flirtatious.

The flirting intensified as time went on, and I didn’t feel guilty about it since Mercedes was a girl. Moreover, I realized that my nerves weren’t the negative, something-bad-is-going-to-happen nerves. They were more like the nerves that you get when you’re around a crush. One night, after dating Nathan for about a month, Mercedes asked me – only me – to come to her house to drink. I couldn’t say no. More Here...
How I've Moved Past My Daddy Issues

I’ve contemplated whether or not to write about my father. It’s a subject I wouldn’t have been able to speak about at all a few years ago. Since Father’s Day was this past Sunday I figured this might be as good a time as any. Plus, whether you’d want to believe it or not, the relationship we have with our father or father figure affects us in romantic relationships.

When I was thirteen my mother sat my sisters and me on the living room couch. For some reason, it was covered in plastic like every other couch in the living rooms of Dominican families in my neighborhood. It was early June, two weeks before Father’s Day, when my mother gathered us together for a family meeting. I don’t remember her exact words as I was distracted by the sound of my thighs against the plastic.

I do remember the three most important points of the conversation. The first, my father would be moving back to the Dominican Republic in a few days. The second, we all had to be more responsible since things would be different now. Finally, school was still a priority. Just because my father was moving back to the motherland didn’t mean we were allowed to fail.
More Here...
Can They Make It? Part One: The Parents

My friend, Sam*, and I were recently discussing our two friends, Jim* and Jane*. They had been dating ever since high school, and they broke up just a couple of days ago. Both Sam and I were shocked when we heard about the break-up. Out of all our friends who decided to stay together after high school, we figured they would be the ones to "make it." Although slightly perplexed and disappointed, Sam tried to offer a reason: Jane's father did always hate Jim. More Here...
How Long Should Two People Be Together Before They Start Dating?

I have a friend who I have known since grade school, Allie*, and as long as I have known her she has hopped from guy to guy. She'll start texting one out of the blue, and within weeks they'll be dating. And within a few months or so they will have broken up. But she'll quickly move on to another guy.
More Here...
Would I Be Lying to My SO If I Omitted Information?

Okay, I have a serious problem. I knew this would happen.

I have recently gotten back together with my ex, though not “officially” yet. It's up to me to ask him out this time because he is giving me the freedom to stay “single” as long as I desire, since he was the one that horrendously fucked it up last time. Anyway, I was thinking about ‘asking him out’ this Friday. The only problem is... I have a skeleton in the closet and I don’t know when the best time to clear it is, if ever. More Here...

Monday, 17 June 2013

Different Degrees of Love?

Thought post.

Yes, it's true, I'm in love. But sometimes I feel like I am not in love. No, wait, of course I am. But I'm not right now. Gotcha, now I am.

These have been my thoughts as of late when I am with my boyfriend. I really do love him but there are times when I am indifferent and I feel like I don't. I'm not sure if it's normal, it's almost a sort of temperamental love. Can you truly feel love all the time you are with your loved one or does it come in waves, washing over you when the mood strikes and receding when something else is on your mind? More Here...
The Full Monty: A Sexting Story

The other day I was texting my friend, Kayla. Kayla sent me a screenshot of a picture her twin sister had received from our mutual guy friend, Logan. This picture showed a side of Logan I never thought I would see. To be blunt, there was full frontal nudity. Apparently Kayla's sister had been texting Logan on and off over the last couple of weeks and things started to... heat up. More Here...
Would You Get Involved With Someone in an Open Relationship?

Last year, my friend was interested in this guy. They had been talking for a couple weeks, and the talking had definitely turned into flirting. One night, the guy gave her a goodnight kiss on the lips, and although she knew they were very far from exclusive, she was excited to go further with him physically. One day, they were talking about past relationships when the guy scoffed and said, "I haven't been in a monogamous relationship in a long time..." More Here...
Is Losing Your Virginity Overrated?

When I lost my virginity, I was 16, drunk, and contorted in the backseat of a car. The girl I was with had driven us to a secluded cul-de-sac, and it didn’t take us long to steam up the windows and lose track of time. Even though she didn’t know it was my first time, she was super careful, and kept checking with me to make sure I was okay. Afterwards, we drove to a gas station so I could fix my bra and sex hair, and I spent the night at her place.

At the time, losing my virginity was a big deal. But looking back, I wonder: “What was the big deal, exactly?” In high school, losing your virginity is the elephant in every dark, poster-laden room. And seriously, there are more movies about swiping (or neglecting to swipe) your v-card than I can count. Our culture makes losing your virginity seem like such an event, but when it comes down to it – is it? Is losing your virginity overrated? More Here...

Sunday, 16 June 2013

Chocolate & Vanilla Swirl

I was born and raised in a small suburb in Upstate New York. The area was predominantly white, and predominantly may even be an understatement. I was one of about 10 African American students in my entire high school, one of like 3 in my graduating class. From the time that I was very young, I noticed that there was something very different about me that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I found out exactly what that was when I met one of my first boyfriend's parents. More Here...